Never Let You Go
by bellibelle
Summary: Klaine AU. How do you reconcile feelings from the distant past with those from the present? Can you ever really let go of someone you once loved? How long can you fight fate, ignore destiny and pay no mind to your heart's greatest desire? Conclusion of Safe with Me trilogy.
1. I think I've felt love

**Author's Note:** Lyrics from Tornado by Ali Ingle, a great song you should definitely check out! Blaine and Kurt are not mine but this universe is. This is a six-part conclusion to the Safe With Me trilogy. _Please_ read Safe With Me and Your Old Heart first. If you don't, I promise you'll be confused! :) Enjoy and please review!

* * *

**PART ONE**

**_I think I've felt love_**

**_I've sure felt pain_**

**_I've tasted sun when I've kissed the rain_**

* * *

Kurt Hummel decided that he needed to stop making plans. Whenever he planned, he got ahead of himself and his world came crashing down around him.

In the last few years, he had learned that, in spite of the best of plans, he had no idea what he was doing, what he wanted, or what the future would bring.

As he sat across from Erik, he thought back over the past few months and wondered. If he had thought about it a few months ago, what would he have anticipated would happen? Did he really think that he and Erik would get married one day? That Blaine would come back to be Erik's best man, as promised, and watch as Kurt promised his life to someone else? Did he truly believe that he and Erik were soul mates; destined to be together? Did he even believe in that stuff anymore? The stuff of fairy tales and daydreams? The stuff that Blaine always tried to convince them was real?

When he was a kid, it had seemed so simple. Of course princes could marry other princes. Of course he had a soul mate and a destiny and a fate. Of course they would be impossibly, hopelessly in love and live happily ever after. Why wouldn't they? When he was younger and unaware of the intricacies of love and life in the real world, he had never doubted any of it. As time went by, however, he was faced with the harsh realities of adolescence and then adulthood: the loneliness and the heartache, the strings attached to every feeling and the consequences of every action. Kurt found that the messy bits were a lot messier than he had ever imagined.

But, when had he stopped believing? When had true love become a myth and not a goal? When had finding a soul mate gone from a dream for the future to the punch line of a joke (usually at the expense of Blaine, the perpetual believer)?

Maybe it was when he fell in love with his boyfriend's best friend. Maybe it was when he broke his best friend's heart. Maybe it was when he realized that love wasn't as simple as the stories and movies make it seem. Maybe it was when he realized how much love could make him hurt and cry and ache. Maybe it was when Blaine had left him in the practice room or when he had told him to marry Erik or when he walked away, to New York, gone for good.

All Kurt knew was that his six-year old self would have been very disappointed. When had he lost his way? When had he stopped listening to that young, hopeful voice in his head? When had the voice disappeared entirely, apparently sick of being ignored?

Kurt couldn't help but wonder: if he had kept believing, held onto the ideals of destiny and "meant to be," would he still have found himself in this mess? Could he have prevented it? Or was it inevitable? Would he still have found himself in this very room, with this very boy sitting across from him, professing his sorrow, begging for his understanding?

Maybe six-year old Kurt and all the fairy tales and love songs - and Blaine, too - were right all along. Maybe it was all real, that destiny crap. Maybe it just wasn't real for Kurt and Erik. It hit him like a punch to the stomach, and in an instant, he knew it was true. He could feel it spread to his every pore until it was a part of him, until it encompassed his whole being. All at once, he knew it to be truer anything. _The sky is blue and the grass is green, _he thought_. My name is Kurt Hummel and your name is Erik Boden. We are not, nor have we ever been, meant to be together._

Thoughts flooded Kurt's head as Erik sat, tears in his eyes, gripping Kurt's hands harder than he realized, repeating the same three words over and over.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

* * *

11:01PM From Kurt to Blaine: This might be a bad idea, but I really need someone right now. I know we haven't talked in ages...but I could really use a friend.

11:02PM From Kurt to Blaine: It's pretty important. Like, on the scale of one to important it's way past important. Sorry. I'm rambling. I'll stop.

Missed Call from Kurt at 11:04PM

11:05PM From Kurt to Blaine: It would really help to hear your voice. Or even get a text.

11:10PM From Kurt to Blaine: Please.

Sebastian rolled over in bed as Blaine's phone buzzed a fifth time, the vibrations amplified by the nightstand. "Hon, it's your phone again," he sat up and called to Blaine, who was trying desperately to raise one eyebrow at a time as he brushed his teeth. Blaine stepped into the door frame and said something in return, but his response was muffled by the toothpaste in his mouth, so unintelligible that Sebastian fell back onto the bed, his laughter filling the room. He clutched his stomach as Blaine rolled his eyes and finished brushing his teeth.

"Oh, you're _hilarious," _Blaine said with a fake scowl.

"No, Blaine. _You _are," Sebastian retorted and continued to laugh as Blaine made a face at him and began to floss.

"I was _asking, _can you check my phone, please?"

Sebastian nodded and sat up again. He reached across Blaine's side - he still couldn't believe they had their own sides of the bed; he slept on the left and Blaine on the right, alternating who got to be the big spoon, feeling very much like an old married couple in only the best ways - and grabbed the phone. As Blaine watched from the door, Sebastian's eyebrows shot up and his eyes filled with a mix of confusion and concern. "Um...Blaine," he hesitated and Blaine walked toward him, matching concern showing on his face. "It's Kurt."

* * *

Quinn Fabray had never been a fan of weddings. While other girls dreamed of puffy white dresses and multilayer cakes and bridesmaids and flowers, she had rolled her eyes and, to be honest, judged them. She had never needed a man to complete her. She was complete on her own, thank you very much. She wasn't looking for her better half or missing puzzle piece or soul mate. She was perfectly okay just as she was: alone.

And then, she met Drew Cassidy He had been exactly what she needed, and exactly what she had never thought to imagine. He wasn't her better half and he didn't complete her; she wouldn't turn her back on those core ideals. But, she had to admit, he complimented her quite nicely. Her hand fit in his and his laugh sounded perfect when mixed with hers. He made her laugh in spite of any anger or fear or sadness she felt. He made her feel happy and loved and just better; better than she felt without him. So, the prospect of spending the rest of her life with Drew was enough to inspire girlish daydreams.

Quinn was never sure if she wanted to get married until, in an instant, she knew: of course she did. If it meant calling herself Mrs. Cassidy and coming home to Drew's smiling face every day, if it promised a partner and a conspirator and a best friend, Quinn couldn't think of anything she wanted more.

Once she got to thinking about it - and imagining dresses and first dances and honeymoons - Quinn realized that maybe weddings weren't so bad after all. And, okay, maybe she had always secretly imagined a winter wedding, with snow swirling outside and candles on every surface and love keeping her warm. Drew was eager to be married - he had taken to telling random strangers on the subway and in parks and in restaurants that he was engaged to the greatest woman in the world, much to Quinn's amusement - and told Quinn that she could pick the date, as long as he still got to keep his pick for a bride. Quinn decided on a January, a month of promises and new beginnings and fresh starts.

Drew had made his most important decision already - besides the bride, of course - and had asked Blaine to be his best man. The day he and Quinn had returned from the beach house, he had asked Blaine to join him for a cup of coffee at their favorite cafe near their apartment. Blaine had been concerned and confused - wasn't coffee in their apartment fancy enough? - but had been dragged along by an oddly nervous, enthusiastic Drew. Drew had proceeded to drop his spoon three times while attempting to stir his coffee, had accidentally thrown his scone at Blaine while gesticulating and tripped over a nearby chair on his way to get napkins. Blaine had sat, bewildered, unable to keep himself from laughing as his best friend made a complete idiot of himself for no apparent reason. Finally, after thirty minutes of strange formality, Drew had looked at Blaine and said, "Blaine Anderson, you are the greatest friend I have ever had. I couldn't imagine my life without you." Blaine began to laugh, but Drew continued, "Will you do me the honor of being my best man?" Blaine smiled widely as he continued to laugh, nodding his head. Drew had then, in typical Drew fashion, jumped out of his seat to do a victory lap around the table and pull Blaine in for a bear hug.

Blaine continued to laugh as he said, "You sounded like you were going to propose." Drew had then thrown the rest of scone at Blaine, on purpose this time.

"I was just being proper. It's a big deal to me!" he said grumpily, crossing his arms.

Blaine smiled sincerely and replied, "It's a big deal to me, too, Drew. Thank you." At this, Drew dropped the faux attitude and smiled widely.

"Iwas _nervous_!" he cried and Blaine laughed at him, again. "I'm kind of over the top, aren't I?" he asked with a smile, and laughed along with Blaine. He was marrying the girl of his dreams and his best friend would be at his side every step of the way. Drew couldn't understand how he deserved such happiness, but he had learned not to question it, not to jinx it, but to go with the flow.

Now, weeks later, Quinn was still without a maid of honor. She knew exactly who she wanted: her closest friend, her karaoke partner and former roommate. The only problem was, they hadn't spoken in months over something so stupid and trivial, that Quinn couldn't even remember it. She was sure _she _would though, and she couldn't bring herself to pick up the phone and find out.

Finally, after Blaine sat her down and threatened to ask Mrs. Rellins, their batty upstairs neighbor, to be Quinn's maid of honor, Quinn went to her speed dial and called the person she hadn't spoken to in months: Rachel Berry.

* * *

"He's the best guy I know," Blaine said as he filled up a cup of water for Quinn. She smiled sweetly and thanked him, and Blaine wondered if she was nervous. Quinn and Drew had only been dating for a few weeks when Blaine decided it was time he sit the pretty blonde down and give her the customary best friend talk. It seemed odd, given that they had become close friends just as Quinn and Drew had fallen in love. But still, Blaine believed in the tradition of the thing. He knew that Drew would do the same for him. So, he accepted his duty and invited Quinn to hang out while Drew was at a poetry club meeting. Quinn had seemed a bit reluctant at first, confused by Blaine's sudden desire for alone time, but had eventually agreed.

"I'd say it's a tie for me," Quinn replied, twirling her straw in her glass. "Between you and him." She met Blaine's smiling eyes and her smile grew, "It's true. When I met you two, I didn't really have any friends left. You two took me in, made me feel like I had a family again. You deserve the same happiness he does." Blaine frowned, confused so Quinn added, "I know you think Drew is a great guy, and I won't disagree with that, but I worry that you don't realize how great you are. How much you deserve, too."

Blaine smiled again, smaller this time. "You're too sweet -" he started.

Quinn interrupted, grinning, "This is what I'm talking about!" She laughed, "You're too modest! I'm not too sweet. Listen, Blaine," she said, dropping her voice to a more serious tone, "Drew told me a bit about what happened to you in college. That you and your best friend loved the same guy and you walked away, you were the bigger person. And if I didn't already like you, I sure did when I learned that. I've never been good at sharing or being the bigger person when it comes to guys, so kudos to you." Blaine smiled a bit bigger, as Quinn said, "But I think it's time you let yourself be happy. Drew..." she took a drink of her water and smiled, picturing her crazy, wonderful boyfriend. "He makes me so happy, Blaine. So happy. And we both really want that for you."

Blaine reached across the table to squeeze Quinn's hand in thanks, "If you're not too sweet, then you're the absolutely perfect amount of sweet."

"I'll accept that," she said with a laugh.

A few minutes later, Blaine, remembering the motivation for their little date, said, "Oh, and you know if you hurt Drew, I'll have to kill you...right?" He smirked at Quinn and she laughed in response.

"I would expect nothing less."

* * *

"You can talk to him if you want. I trust you," Sebastian said, watching Blaine stare at his screen.

Blaine cleared his throat and shook his head a bit, "I don't want to talk to him." Sebastian frowned and began to respond, but Blaine continued, "I care about him. Or cared. I don't know. But with me and Kurt..." he looked up from his phone to meet Sebastian's concerned gaze, "nothing is ever simple with us. I don't know that I trust myself to talk to him, to be honest."

Hurt flashed in Sebastian's eyes as he nodded. "Well...That's comforting," he said sarcastically.

Blaine sighed, placing his phone back on his nightstand and sat next to his boyfriend on the bed. He took Sebastian's hands in his own and said, "I love you. Don't ever forget that." Sebastian smiled a bit and Blaine went on, "But I loved Kurt, too." Sebastian nodded his understanding, squeezing Blaine's hands gently. "I haven't talked to him in months. And, I really think it's a can of worms I shouldn't open."

They were quiet for a bit and Sebastian dropped Blaine's hands to pull him into a hug, whispering, "I love you, too, you know." Blaine smiled and nodded into Sebastian's shoulder as he added, "But it's still pretty crappy to hear that you have confused feelings about your ex. Loving you doesn't change that."

Blaine pulled back to look at Sebastian as he said, "I'm sorry." Sebastian shrugged and Blaine leaned in to place a soft kiss on his cheek. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand and began pressing buttons with a small smile on his face. "I'm deleting his texts. I'm not reading them, just deleting them."

"You don't have to-"

"I know," Blaine interrupted, bringing his eyes up to meet Sebastian's. "I want to. I want to show you what you mean to me. If this thing with Kurt hurts you, then I'll do whatever I can to make sure my feelings are completely gone. No can of worms to be opened. Okay?"

Sebastian smiled, a bigger, truer one this time, and held out his hand, "Phone." Blaine looked confused, but placed his phone in Sebastian's hand. "You can worry about that later," he said with a smirk. Blaine began to respond, but Sebastian leaned down and cut him off with a kiss. Blaine reached his hands to thread through Sebastian's hair, and Sebastian's cupped Blaine's cheek in his hand.

Blaine let himself get lost in Sebastian, but he couldn't ignore the feeling, like an itch in his brain, that he was doing something wrong. To ignore Kurt, to turn his back on him, it wasn't nice and it wasn't fair. But, in his heart of hearts, Blaine was afraid of what would happen, of what he would feel, if he let Kurt Hummel back into his life. So, he returned Sebastian's kisses with equal enthusiasm. They laughed between kisses, and Blaine's phone was left, forgotten, on the floor; Kurt's messages unopened.

* * *

Rachel Berry had always known she was extraordinary. If other people didn't see that, it was their loss (or so her dads would tell her). When she was in high school, glee club had been the perfect venue for showcasing her talent, the perfect stage on which she could shine. Rachel had gone to her first rehearsal expecting a lot of things: adoring fans and endless solos and trophies to line her walls, but what she had found was very different. Glee club hadn't been what she had expected, in good ways and in bad. It was where she fell in love and had her heart broken, made friends and made enemies, lost her voice and found it again. Years later, as she looked back on high school, she found that the trophies (well, _trophy_ and participation ribbons), and the adoring fans (few and far between) and the endless solos (which were as wonderful as she had expected), weren't the things she cherished the most, weren't the things she remembered most about glee. Years later, as she sat in her apartment, the apartment she had shared with Quinn and then with Quinn and Finn and now occupied alone, she thought about her fourteen-year old freshman self and laughed. She was pretty extraordinary, yes, but ridiculous, too. After fights and competitions and drama, Rachel found that the most important things she had done with the New Directions weren't typical accomplishments, they were the friendships she had formed. And, somehow, she had let them slip out of her fingers.

Was she too competitive? Too much of a diva? Too self-centered and opinionated and polarizing? She didn't think so, but she knew some people, her best friends from glee club included, might disagree. Whatever the reason, Rachel hadn't lived up the promises she had made to her fellow singers; the promises to always stay in touch and remain loyal and honest and supportive, the promises to be friends forever and never go back to their days of sabotage and high school warfare. Quinn's phone call - that she ignored in an act of rebellion and defiance that had left her feeling quite immature - had reminded her of all the promises they had made and broken. Rachel guessed that setting Quinn's hair on fire wasn't fitting with promise of lifelong support and friendship. Where had they gone wrong?

Rachel moped around for a bit, but then, sick of feeling sorry for herself, picked up her phone. If she had learned anything in high school, and in glee club, it was that, while fourteen-year old Rachel had been extraordinary, she had also been lonely and selfish. The person she had become, with the help of Quinn and glee, was someone to make her dads proud, someone _truly_ extraordinary. And it was time she became reacquainted with that version of herself. Kurt had called her just hours before and she and Finn had finally ended their five-month-long streak of not talking and Quinn was reaching out to her, too; these were all great signs of progress, of good things to come.

She dialed Quinn's number, smiling. She was bringing Old Rachel back.

* * *

Is your first love someone you can ever possibly forget? Can you ever hope to move on from the person who made you hope and feel and wish for the first time?

Happy ending or not, can you ever recover from your first fall, your first courtship, your first dream come true? Can you ever replicate those feelings of unadulterated optimism and fearless confidence? Do you ever really believe in love the same way you did the first time you felt it?

Blaine wanted to, so desperately. What he thought he could have with Kurt was extraordinary; but the reality was the life prevented it. He and Kurt had gone their separate ways, but when would their hearts catch up? No matter what he felt for Sebastian, no matter how wonderful it was to finally have love and affection returned in kind, he couldn't stop himself from comparing what he had with Sebastian to what he _could_have had with Kurt. He couldn't seem to forget the soaring feeling in the pit of his stomach that used to accompany every thought of Kurt. He wished he could feel that happiness, that uninhibited adoration for Sebastian; wished he could recreate the newness and the wonder of his feelings for Kurt. But, try as he might, he couldn't.

Was that inevitable? Was that what people meant when they said that you could never forget your first love? It comforted Blaine to think that maybe it was normal. Maybe it was just a symptom of young love, of naive hope and unreached dreams. But what if it wasn't? What if, for him, it was different? What if Kurt wasn't just his first love, but his greatest? What then? Blaine didn't know how to give himself to Sebastian completely when he couldn't stop dreaming of clear blue eyes and a beautiful smile and a high, flying voice. No matter how he tried, Blaine Anderson couldn't seem to escape thoughts of Kurt Hummel. And, in spite of his very real love for Sebastian, he was afraid that he never would.

* * *

Kurt wasn't typically a nervous person. He had been blessed with a natural confidence from birth. Sure, the bullies and the losses he suffered, the tears he shed and the fears he kept inside did nothing to encourage confidence; yet, by some miracle, Kurt had always believed in himself. Maybe it was due to his father, who always made it clear how wonderful he thought Kurt was. Or maybe it was singing, something Kurt could always use as a release and a creative outlet, something he would always be good at. It was a combination of things, to be sure. Regardless, Kurt lived his life with a minimal amount of nervousness. Starting college was scary, sure, but he knew he could do it.

So, he wasn't sure why, as he found himself waiting on a bench in the park, looking around for his date, he was so terribly, out of his mind nervous. Honestly, he would have expected this kind of nervousness if his date at been Blaine..._Don't think about him_, he told himself. _You're friends, remember?_ Erik was better for him, he decided. More confident himself, more bold and more open, easier to read. With Erik, Kurt could at least begin to know what to expect - unlike the ever mysterious Blaine, who Kurt was sure he would never understand - so he knew that their date would go smoothly. And yet, he found his hands were sweating and his heart was racing as Erik Boden strolled into the park. He looked dashing in a fitted red sweater and dark wash jeans and he was carrying a bouquet of roses for Kurt. Kurt stood up as his date arrived, blushing as he accepted the roses and the two made their way to dinner.

Across the park, Blaine watched, feeling extraordinarily creepy. _You're the one who "set them up," _he reminded himself, _You're allowed to check up on them_. He couldn't deny, however, that most matchmakers didn't get sick to their stomachs as the couple they put together laughed and flirted. Most matchmakers rooted for dates to go well and for chemistry to prevail and for conversation to flow. So Blaine, the atypical matchmaker, forced himself to retire to his dorm and busy himself with studying. Try as he might, he couldn't stop wondering where they were and what they were doing and how it was going. He wondered what he had just set in motion, if this date would be the first of many. He imagined what he would have done differently if it was his and Kurt's first date. He would have gotten wildflowers, for one. Roses were too cliché and ordinary; and Kurt was far too extraordinary for roses.

* * *

After what felt like days, Erik finally stopped apologizing. They both stopped crying and they sat, holding hands, as if letting go of each other was somehow symbolic of something bigger, something permanent.

Kurt found his voice and asked, in a small, sad voice, "Why?" And they both started crying again.

Over the last few months, Kurt had heard more stories about the now-infamous Dave than he could count. He had gathered that Dave was funny and kind, smart and reserved. He had a big heart and a belief that while you can't change the past, you are foolish if you don't learn from it. Kurt had met Dave on several occasions, sharing hand shakes and then hugs, exchanging embarrassing stories and nearly-faded memories. Kurt understood what Erik saw in Dave: he really seemed to be a good guy, a great friend. Kurt knew that Dave had filled the void in Erik's life that Blaine had left, and it made him happy. He breathed easier, slept sounder knowing his fiancée had a best friend again. But he didn't ever guess, he never could have anticipated, that Erik and Dave would fall in love.

Erik composed himself first, and while silent tears fell down Kurt's face, he tried his best to explain.

His eyes were red, full of hurt and regret and sadness, and his face stained with tears as he said, "I didn't plan on it, Kurt. You have to believe me." Kurt held back a sob and Erik squeezed his hand tightly as he said, "I love you so much." Erik's voice broke and he began to cry again. He struggled through the tears, "I always have, and I probably always will." Erik stopped, as if speaking the words was too much to handle. They sat, crying and holding hands, until Erik was ready to continue. "I will always love you, Kurt," he said, stronger this time. "But Dave..." Kurt let out a sob he had been holding back as Erik said Dave's name. Erik cringed and said, "I can't explain it, or rationalize it. But, Kurt...he feels like home."

Kurt nodded and let more tears fall as he saw flashes of bow ties and practice rooms and music theory class; flashes of _Blaine_. He knew exactly what Erik meant, how a person could feel like home.

"It makes me sadder and more sorry than I have ever been," Erik said, his voice soft and slow. "I wish we could be it for each other, you know?" Kurt nodded sadly, dropping his gaze to look at their intertwined fingers and Erik continued, "I really thought we were. I thought we would be together forever and that made me so, so happy." Erik smiled, and it was possibly the saddest smile Kurt had ever seen. "I didn't want this," he said, as he began to cry again. Kurt reached a hand up to cup Erik's face, meeting his sad eyes. Eventually, his tears slowed and he went on, his voice a bit stronger, "But, I think the problem is: you can't fight fate. Isn't that what Blaine always told us?"

Fate. What a strange and silly word. A word Blaine had thrown around and used as much as "cute" and "beautiful" and "wow." Had they ever known anyone to believe in fate as much as Blaine?

Erik saw the pain in Kurt's face and he lowered his voice again, "We never believed him. We wrote it off as cheesy and childish and foolish, but maybe he was right all along." Erik laughed a ghost of a laugh, "Maybe he knew something we didn't."

Didn't he though? Hadn't Blaine always understood love and friendship and life better than them? Hadn't he always been the hopeful one, the selfless one, the dreamer, the believer, the lover?

"Kurt...please believe me when I say this: all I want is for you to be happy. I just know that I can never give you the happiness you deserve." Erik sighed, and it was so broken and full of pain that, if Kurt's heart hadn't already been broken, that sound would have done him in. Erik continued, his voice and face displaying the devastation that consumed them both, "You deserve so much. I just want you to find it,"

What if he already had? What if he had found it and let it go, with a broken heart and crushed spirit, halfway across the country?

Erik found Kurt's eyes and squeezed his hands as he said, softly, "I want you to find someone who makes you feel the way Dave makes me feel. That's all I want."

Kurt nodded and, as his tears began to fall faster again, he squeezed Erik's hands one last time before letting them go.

* * *

"Kurt Hummel, what do you think about love?" Rachel pointed her bedazzled microphone toward her best friend and, in her best announcer voice, said, "Our viewers are dying to know."

Kurt rolled his eyes into the camera, "We don't have viewers, Rachel."

Rachel was filming some sort of documentary or class project or video to post on YouTube; to be honest, Kurt hadn't really been listening when he agreed to participate. Rachel was just being typical Rachel, eager and bubbly and overachieving; trying desperately to be unique and spectacular. Kurt thought that she was already one of a kind, but no matter how he tried to tell her that, Rachel felt she had something to prove. So, Kurt and Rachel sat on her bed - Quinn had flat-out refused to help this time - and Rachel concluded her interview with a question about love.

Rachel scoffed at Kurt's attitude and pushed the microphone closer to his mouth. "Fine, fine," he said, raising his hands in defeat. "What do I think about love?" He repeated, looking to the side to glance out of Rachel's bedroom window. He and Quinn and Rachel had spent many a slumber party talking about boys and boys and more boys, but Kurt never took it too seriously. That wasn't love, he knew. Love was something more special, something unique and life changing.

"I remember the way my dad used to look at my mom," Kurt started in a soft, wistful voice and Rachel zoomed in to get a close-up. "I remember how he made her laugh and smile and how they slow-danced in the kitchen and how they kissed each other hello and goodbye every day. That's the kind of love I want." Kurt turned his eyes back to the camera and went on, his voice a bit stronger, "Not the 'let's date for three weeks and call it love' love, not the high school melodrama or the 'isn't he so cute, if I stare at him every day does that mean I love him?' love. I want real love. Like your dads have, like Fred and Ginger and Ross and Rachel and Lucy and Ricardo had. Like my parents had." Kurt looked down at his hands and smiled, remembering the love that filled his childhood home, the love that affected everything within reach, the love that could have moved mountains, that changed lives.

He raised his gaze back to the camera and said, "I know I won't find it here, in Podunk, Ohio." Rachel giggled and Kurt smiled. "But one day, I will. Both of us will. And, no matter how long it takes, it will be worth the wait." He nodded and smiled at the camera as he finished, "That's what I think about love." Rachel turned off her flip-camera and gave Kurt a standing ovation.

* * *

It was a typical Thursday as Blaine made his way to class. He was the TA for an introductory Journalism class that met Tuesdays and Thursdays and, every morning, he left early to pick up an extra-large coffee on his way, knowing that he would need the caffeine to deal with the over-eager college freshman. He stopped at Java Lava, the closest coffee shop to the lecture hall and took his place in line. He was contemplating the relative merits of scones and muffins when a flash of blue caught his eye. He turned and his breath caught in his throat, his heart truly seeming to skip a beat as he locked eyes with the last person he was expecting to see: Kurt.

Kurt didn't seem so shocked to see him, though, and as he came closer to Blaine, and Blaine's heart rate and breathing continued to speed up, Blaine really began to panic. He had ignored Kurt's calls and texts, so what does Kurt do? Accost him in a coffee shop hundreds of miles from home, naturally. Of course. Not weird at all. Blaine tried to compose himself, tried to act natural and calm and collected and then, he looked up again, and Kurt had passed him. He had looked right through him! He had gone to stand at the back of the line and now he was hugging some small Chinese woman and kiss-

Oh. It wasn't Kurt. Cheeks flushed and heart calming down slightly, Blaine stepped up to the counter and ordered a cranberry scone with his coffee. On his way out the door, he let his eyes linger on the Kurt look-a-like and realized, with something that felt an awful lot like disappointment, that the man looked nothing like Kurt.

So, it appeared, Blaine was losing his mind. It was not in any way normal or acceptable to think that every tall, blue-eyed man was Kurt Hummel. Kurt was in Chicago, for Pete's sake, engaged to one of Blaine's best friends. He didn't belong in Blaine's life, imaginary or otherwise, and he certainly didn't belong in Blaine's heart. With shame, Blaine realized how truly crushed he was that the man wasn't Kurt. It made him sick in the stomach to realize how, in spite of his body's panicked reaction, he missed Kurt. He missed his voice and his laugh and his smile. He missed the way he scrunched up his nose when he was thinking or furrowed his brow when he listened to a complicated song, trying to arrange it in his head. He missed everything about Kurt, he realized; the good things and the bad things. He should have been relieved that the stranger wasn't Kurt, walking around with an extra skip in his step, but instead, he was sulking, irritated with his mind for play tricks on him and his heart for holding out hope and with Kurt for not being in New York and for not loving him and for everything.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he had finally found a love that could be returned, and now he was plagued with thoughts of the beautiful, heart-breaking boy who stole his heart for the first time. It wasn't fair that all he saw of Kurt was in his imagination and in his dreams and in strangers in coffee shops. It wasn't fair that he missed Kurt. It wasn't fair that he couldn't just move on, couldn't just banish Kurt from his heart forever.

Blaine made it to class early and took his usual spot in the back of the lecture hall. He watched the students trickle in, full of energy and passion, hopefulness and excitement. They were in New York, a place where dreams came true. They were optimistic and full of life. They were just like Blaine had been years ago, before Kurt Hummel. He wished he could warn them, as he wished he could warn his younger self. _Life is a bitch,_ he would say. _Happiness is never without consequence and just when you think you find it, the rug gets pulled out from under you_, he would add. _And_, he would conclude, _stupidly enough, it's all worth it. All the pain and sadness and anger and frustration and hopelessness is all worth it, if you find the right person to share it with._

* * *

"Flight 227 to Newark now boarding. Passengers, please have your boarding passes ready."

Kurt glanced around him one last time, sure he was forgetting something. He had his carry-on bag and his copy of the latest Vogue and a Columbia application to keep him busy on the flight. He had said his goodbyes and returned his keys. He had ceremoniously (if a bit melodramatically) thrown his engagement ring into Lake Michigan and then called his best friend. Rachel had been shocked and thrilled to hear from him and gladly offered her spare bedroom until he could find a more permanent arrangement. Quinn was surprised to learn of his breakup, giddy with news of her new engagement, and excited that they would finally be back in the same city.

For the first time in what felt like years, Kurt found himself smiling a genuine, cheerful grin. He was doing it. He was chasing his dreams. He was moving to New York and, come hell or high water, he was going to get Blaine to forgive him. He had messed it up more times than he could count, but no more. Blaine was his soul mate, his destiny, his everything. He was a shadow of who he use to be: the boy he was when he had Blaine at his side. Together, Kurt knew, they would be happy forever.

He couldn't believe it had taken him this ridiculous amount of metaphorical banging his head against a wall to realize what was so plainly obvious: he was and always would be in love with Blaine Anderson. Now it was finally time he did something about it.


	2. I've learned to lose

**Author's Note:** Lyrics from Tornado by Ali Ingle, a great song you should definitely check out! Blaine and Kurt are not mine but this universe is. This is a six-part conclusion of the Safe With Me trilogy. _Please_ read Safe With Me and Your Old Heart first. If you don't, I promise you'll be confused! :) Enjoy and please review! The more reviews, the faster I'll post part three! :)

* * *

**PART TWO**

**_And I've learned to win, as I've learned to lose,_****  
****_As I've learned to see the good in you_****  
****_Somehow_**

* * *

Blaine woke up with a headache and a strange gnawing in the pit of his stomach. Was he forgetting to do something important? Was he supposed to be sad about something? It took him a few moments to realize that everything was as it should be. He had stayed up late the previous night grading papers - in between make-out sessions with his very distracting boyfriend - and he had outlined his best man speech (four months early, he might add). He was caught up, on top of all of his work; yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off.

Drew sat slumped over a cup of coffee in the living room and grunted a hello as Blaine passed through to make his breakfast.

"You're so good at mornings," Blaine said with a smirk. Drew replied with a groan and Blaine laughed, going about his routine as normal.

Half an hour later, Blaine waved a quick goodbye to his roommate and hurried to make his appointment with his advisor. As he shut the apartment door, he heard the phone ring in the apartment. He paused, considering going back to answer the phone, but after a glance at his watch, he decided against it. Drew would take care of it, he was sure. Or they could always leave a message.

* * *

"So...this is really weird.," Quinn said, swirling her fork around the spaghetti noodles on her plate. "I don't really know where to start." She paused to take a drink of water and added, "I never should have moved out. That was probably over-dramatic. But I really never meant for us to stop being best friends." Rachel scoffed into her water at this, so Quinn continued, "And, if it were up to me, we'd forgive and forget. I still consider you my best friend, Rachel. I do."

Rachel sat silent, eying Quinn as if to determine her sincerity. "Please, Rachel? I miss you."

Rachel's eyes softened, and she shrugged. "I can forgive and forget if you can," Rachel said with a wry smile. Quinn nodded eagerly and she went on, "So, in our new version of history, you never kissed my boyfriend and I never set your favorite sweater on fire."

Quinn coughed and mumbled something that sounded like "or my hair," but Rachel ignored her. She stuck out her hand, her smile widening and Quinn rolled her eyes. "Is that really neces-"

Rachel cut her off with a, "We have to make it official!" Quinn chuckled and reached her hand to meet Rachel's in the middle, shaking it slowly. "The past is in the past," Rachel said, dramatic as ever. "Here's to fresh starts, and old friends, and..." her eyes went to Quinn's hand and she pulled it toward her. Her eyes widened, "OH MY _GOD_! Quinn Fabray, is that a RING on your finger?"

Quinn's smile spread across her face and she nodded, as Rachel squeaked in excitement, and Quinn let her ogle the ring. "That's actually what inspired me to call you." Quinn paused and looked at her friend with a huge smile on her face, "Rachel, I'm just _so_ happy." Rachel started to fan her face, eyes watering with joy and bit of dramatics. "You're going to love Drew, you really are."

Rachel nodded and smiled, "I'm so glad you called."

Quinn returned the smile and said, "Me, too. And I wanted to ask: will you be my maid of -" Rachel jumped out of her seat as Quinn said, "honor?" and wrapped Quinn in a strong hug.

"Of course," she said in Quinn's ear. Quinn's smile widened as Rachel went back to her seat, still bouncing with excitement. "You'll have to make sure you consider which colors compliment my coloring, of course. And what cut would be the most flattering. And, obviously , you'll have to make sure Drew's best man will be a worthy partner..."

Rachel continued to ramble on, detailing her perfect ideas for Quinn's dream wedding - or Rachel's, Quinn couldn't really tell - and Quinn sat back and listened, unable to stop smiling. So, when Rachel's eyes widened suddenly and she gasped, covering her mouth and exclaimed the news of Kurt impending move to New York, and Quinn told Rachel what she already knew about Kurt's voyage, Quinn knew that, finally, everything was as it should be. She had Rachel back, their best friend from high school was moving to the city, she was marrying the love of her life; it didn't get much better than that.

* * *

Kurt woke up with a start and his heart sped up until he realized where he was: on a plane, flying to New York. He took a deep breath and rested his head once more against the window, eager to spot the city as soon as possible. He had slept through most of the cornfields and flatness that was Ohio and Indiana and he couldn't wait to reach the city of his dreams. And the prospect of seeing the _boy_ of his dreams didn't hurt.

He had been dreaming of Blaine, he realized, and the French song he had once sung for him. He hummed it quietly to himself as he thought about what he would say when he saw Blaine. Surely, I love you and I missed you and let's spend our lives together was coming on a bit too strong. For all he knew, Blaine would be furious or hurt or - oh, God, Kurt hadn't thought of it before - no longer interested. No, he couldn't lay it all on the line right away. The important part was seeing Blaine, being in the same city again, and apologizing. He owed Blaine that.

In spite of his worries, he couldn't help but imagine walking with Blaine, hand in hand, through Central Park; singing duets together at a piano and sharing a heart-shaped cookie over coffee and laughing at how stupid they had been. He imagined them together, finally, for good and loving each other, without fear or reservation.

When Erik had broken the news of the kiss, Kurt didn't think he would ever recover. In some ways, he probably never would. Erik had been his first love, his first boyfriend and first real kiss, his first everything that mattered. But, in some ways, Kurt had been ready for a breakup for months. In some ways, he had expected it, almost hoped for it. He wasn't proud of it, but the truth remained: he was more in love with Blaine than he was with Erik. He had known it for a while, probably since he was haunted by dreams of Blaine months ago, but he hadn't really accepted it until Erik broke his heart. It just made sense; of course Erik would fall for Dave; of course he and Kurt would break up. Had Kurt really believed he would end up with Erik? All the pieces had clicked into place as Kurt sat, holding Erik's hand, listening to his apology.

Now, he knew what he wanted, he knew what he needed, and he was ready to fight for it.

Kurt's plane landed in New York without complication and, after a dreadfully long line at the taxi stand, Kurt squeezed his luggage into the trunk of a cab and gave the driver Rachel's address. After a bit of small talk, Kurt pulled out his phone and decided to call the one person he longed to talk to the most. He wondered how Blaine would react to his move to the city. He hoped against hope that he would be as thrilled as Kurt felt. Kurt conveniently chose not to dwell on Blaine's ignoring of his texts and call a few weeks before; none of that mattered now. They were once again living in the same city, a city of dreams and miracles and adventures, and anything was possible.

As it was early, Kurt decided to try Blaine's land line, hoping to catch him before he went to class or work or whatever it was he was doing. The voice that greeted him on the other line wasn't what he was expecting, but it was familiar nonetheless. He left a quick message for Blaine with a very confused, tired sounding Drew and smiled to himself as he hung up. Maybe he would go and visit Blaine that night, start reconciling and reconnecting. Was that too eager?

He was lost in his thoughts when the taxi stopped suddenly, pulled over on a cute, homey street in SoHo. Kurt pulled himself from his Blaine-centered thoughts to look out his window and he saw, much to his delight, one Rachel Berry jumping up and down on the sidewalk, huge smile on her face.

"I _cannot _believe you're here!" Rachel cried as Kurt stepped out of the cab right into her open arms. They hugged and he indulged in a bit of jumping up and down with her until the annoyed glance of the taxi driver shook them from their excitement. Kurt paid the driver and retrieved his many bags from the cab, chatting with Rachel about her last break-up (which was absolutely terrible, but in the past now) and latest audition (which went surprisingly well and indicated an upcoming phone call and job offer, if she had to guess). Rachel showed him up to her apartment, giving him the customary tour and he found that it was everything he hoped it would be. He could see himself there: making dinner in the kitchen and watching trash TV on the couch and washing his face as Rachel washed hers in the side-by-side bathroom sinks. The guest room had clearly been freshly decorated to suit its newest guest: Rachel had laid out a new robe and slipper set by the desk and had left a stack of the latest Vogues on the nightstand.

"I hope you don't mind," she said, suddenly shy, as Kurt went to the desk to examine the robe, which was, as he suspected, just his size. "I kind of hoped you'd be staying a while."

Kurt turned to her and flashed her a huge grin, "It's perfect, Rachel. I never dreamed I'd move to New York and live with anyone but you." At this, Rachel returned his grin and have him a one-armed hug as she sighed in relief.

"Well, good," she replied. "I've already stocked the kitchen with several months worth of your favorite dry goods and I started taping Project Runway because I know how you get if you miss an episode. I talked to my super about getting you on the lease but he said we'll have to wait until the old one is up. Luckily that'll be soon, because I'd really like to make this official." Kurt couldn't help but laugh as Rachel continued to ramble on about all the preparations she had made and all the reasons why they would be perfect roommates He considered asking about Quinn, and why she had suddenly moved out of the second bedroom, but he wasn't eager to ruin Rachel's good mood. He would bring it up later. For now, he let himself enjoy the feeling of finally being reunited with his best friends; he relished in the promise of a fresh start, a second chance to find love and keep it this time.

Kurt had finished unpacking most of his clothes when he heard a loud bang and shriek come from the kitchen. He dropped the scarves he was holding and ran to investigate the sound and found Rachel, laying on the kitchen floor, surrounded by pots and pans. As soon as he determined that Rachel wasn't hurt, he started laughing uncontrollably.

"Kurt Hummel, quit laughing and come give me a hug." Quinn stepped into the kitchen and Kurt let out a yell of excitement as he raced across the room to hug his old friend. Based on Quinn's smirk and Rachel's disgruntled expression as she continued to pick up the assorted pots and pans that had fallen to the ground, Kurt gathered that Quinn had scared Rachel at just the wrong - or right - time, causing an avalanche of kitchen supplies. "Apparently, she forgot I had a key," Quinn explained with a grin and Rachel mumbled something unintelligible in response. Kurt smiled and he and Quinn helped Rachel clean up the disaster that was their kitchen as they caught up on all the drama and gossip and fashion of the past few years.

Kurt didn't remember exactly when he had stopped talking to Quinn and Rachel regularly. They used to have a rule: they couldn't go more than three days without speaking. Whether it was a quick text hello or a long phone chat or a Skype session, they had made a pact not to lose touch. They had graduated high school best friends and they had no desire to lose that relationship. But, when Rachel and Quinn left for New York and Kurt left for Chicago, they couldn't anticipate the challenges of long-distance friendships. For the first few months, they stuck to their rule; communicating about everything from their annoying TA's to their roommate drama to their favorite cafeteria food. But, after awhile, weeks would pass in between phone calls and Kurt began to feel that his two best girls had moved on to bigger and better things without him. And he, in turn, had met Blaine and Erik. He didn't want for friends or companionship, but he couldn't ignore the jealousy in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about Quinn and Rachel, who had decided to get an apartment together in their second year, or Quinn and Rachel, who were in the same acting class or Quinn and Rachel, who got lost together on the subway the other day. They came to an unspoken conclusion that their lives were moving in different directions. Each of them hoped that one day they could recapture the magic of their senior year, where, after years of competition, the three of them had become thick as thieves.

There was something to be said about high school friends, though. In spite of the time and distance between them, in spite of the months they had gone without speaking and the years it had been since last spending time together in person; in spite of the secrets and the long-held grudges and the complications that came with almost a decade of knowing someone, they were friends for life. Nothing could change that. So, of course Rachel didn't hesitate when Kurt needed a place to stay. Of course they were able to slip in to their old roles as soon as they were reunited. In the strange way that only old friends could, they interacted as if no time had passed at all. As they reminisced and updated each other on their lives and dreams and loves, nothing felt strained or wrong. Like the comforting feeling of stepping into your house at the end of the day, like the first bite of your favorite meal or the sounds of your hometown, Kurt found that sitting with Rachel and Quinn felt so very much like home, even after all this time.

They were appropriately shocked and outraged at Erik's betrayal and, when Kurt told them, shyly and hesitantly, that he was in love with Blaine, Rachel cheered and Quinn choked on her lemonade. "Oh my god," Quinn said. "You and Blaine! You..." she hesitated, a look of understanding crossing her face, "You and Blaine. _Drew's_ Blaine."

Kurt and Rachel looked at her like she had grown a second head. "Yeah, Quinn," Rachel said, smirking at Kurt, "You remember Blaine, the guy Kurt was all moony over back in freshman year." Kurt shoved Rachel lightly and she laughed, but Quinn sat, still looking shaken.

"No, Rachel, that's not it." Quinn covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes were wide and a bit crazed as she said, "My Drew, the Drew that I'm _marrying_..." Both of her friends nodded, confused, as she continued, "Kurt knows him." Kurt's eyes went wide as he, too, began to understand.

_"No..." _he said, eyebrows shooting up.

_"_Yes." Quinn said, nodding.

_"_Will someone _please_ explain what's going on!?" Rachel cried, still confused and lost.

Both Kurt and Quinn laughed and Quinn said slowly, "Rachel, my fiancee Drew is Blaine's best friend." Rachel frowned as Quinn added, "Kurt's Blaine. _Kurt's_ Blaine and _my_ Drew are roommates. Best friends. Blaine is Drew's best man!"

Realization started to show on Rachel's face as her eyes widened, too. "Oh my _god_," she exclaimed.

They all started laughing and, in between chuckles, Kurt said, "Is it just me or does this feel exactly like high school?" Both girls began to laugh harder as they thought back to the years they had spent falling for the same boys and competing for attention. It really was turning out to be a small world.

* * *

When Kurt thought about it, it didn't make much sense. To the objective bystander, his love for Erik was logical, clean-cut, clear. It was easy to understand how Kurt could have loved Erik for years, as they grew together and learned everything they could about each other, as they fought and made love, as they moved in together and leaned on each other and cared for each other. It made sense. It was logical. Kurt's feelings for Blaine made less sense, though. Sure, they were compatible. They had more things in common than Kurt could possibly list and they made each other laugh until they cried and their voices fit together perfectly, as if my some grand design. They could talk about Broadway or fashion or _shoes_ for hours on end and they had a spark, a chemistry that was undeniable. But the truth of the matter was, all they had ever done was kiss. They had talked and sang together, they had studied and eaten together, but they had never been a couple. How was Kurt so sure that they would make the perfect pair when they were no more a couple than Kurt and _Drew_ were? How could Kurt have such confidence in their would-be relationship; confidence that it was fated and dream-worthy, when he had no evidence to support the idea?

That same objective bystander would never be able to comprehend Kurt's confident, sure love for Blaine. As the distance grew between them and their communication all but stopped entirely, how could Kurt's love for Blaine have grown? How could he have gone to bed with Erik every night and dreamed of Blaine? It defied logic. It didn't make sense. And yet, Kurt thought, maybe it did. Maybe the fact that all Blaine had ever been was a possibility was exactly what led Kurt's love for him to grow.

It seemed, to Kurt at least, that we let ourselves imagine the most beautiful, magical possibilities for our futures. If only, we tell ourselves. We dream about the maybes and the what-ifs and the possibly's, because they are endless, limitless, completely independent of reality and conflict and upset. So, Kurt figured that it made sense that Blaine was the one he couldn't seem to shake. He and Erik had a great love, to be sure. They had their ups and downs, a real relationship. Their story had a beginning, a middle and an end. Moving on felt natural, normal, like tying a bow around a present, adding the icing to the cake. It was the natural way of things. But Kurt and Blaine? What had they had? They were never given the chance to start. They had a taste of what could be but circumstance and conflict and life had gotten in the way. Blaine existed in a special, untouchable place in Kurt's head, free of blemish and fault. And their theoretical relationship was thus all the more amazing in his mind. Of course they would be the greatest couple of all time. Of course their love would rival all other loves, would leave everyone else jealous. Sure, they would fight and disagree and squabble, but they would make up and love and live happily ever after. Kurt had no reason to think otherwise. Until, all at once, he did.

* * *

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sebastian asked as he and Blaine stood at a corner, deciding between Chinese and Mexican food for dinner.

Blaine shrugged, "Something's just weird about today. I don't know." Sebastian continued to look concerned, so Blaine leaned up to kiss his cheek. "I'm sure it's nothing, really. How about Italian instead? Drew told me about a great new place we should try." Sebastian wasn't convinced, but he nodded his head and let Blaine drop it, sure that, if it was something important, they would talk about it eventually.

They crossed the street, holding hands, and Blaine entertained Sebastian with a story about one of his students.

Blocks away, Kurt left his new apartment, arm hooked with Rachel's on one side and Quinn's on the other. They were going out to celebrate their long-overdue reunion and Kurt's first night in the city. "I still think we should take him to the sushi bar," Rachel argued and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I'm telling you, this place is good. Think Breadstix but a thousand times better." At this, both Kurt and Rachel laughed, remembering the only fancy restaurant near their high school. "Drew and I love it."

"Oo-ooh," Rachel said in a sing-song voice. "Well if _Drew _likes it then..."

"Oh, hush," Quinn scolded, reaching across Kurt to shove Rachel. Kurt, not eager to be caught in the cross-fire as the two began to squabble playfully, took a step back to walk behind them. He took a moment to gaze upward, still awed and amazed by the beauty of the city with its bustling streets and majestic skyscrapers. He was sure he could walk for days without looking down, enchanted by the view of the tallest, most incredible buildings he had ever seen.

They got closer to the restaurant and Rachel and Quinn had clearly reconciled, as they were deep in conversation about wedding colors, and Kurt watched them happily, thrilled to be back with his best friends. They turned a corner and, in an instant, Kurt's good mood and enchantment and happiness were all left behind as his stomach dropped and his hopes were crushed.

There was Blaine, holding hands with a tall, beautiful man, looking happy and enchanting and so very much in love. Kurt stopped dead in his tracks, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of him. Seconds later, Quinn and Rachel realized he was no longer keeping up and turned to see what was keeping him. They wore matching faces of concern and confusion once they saw Kurt's look of utter heartbreak and they stood, on either side of him, asking what was wrong.

"You didn't..." he started, voice caught in his throat. "You never said..." They both continued to look perplexed until Kurt said, "_Blaine," _his voice breaking. Both girls spun around and caught sight of Sebastian holding the door open for a laughing Blaine. "He's _with _someone?" he asked softly. With hurt showing so clearly on his face, both Quinn and Rachel wished they had a different answer to give Kurt, a happier answer, a more fair one. But, as they gave up on their night out and walked Kurt back to the apartment, telling him the details of Blaine and Sebastian's relationship, they were faced with the sad reality that Kurt had missed his chance. Just when he thought life was finally being fair to him, the other shoe dropped.

* * *

Kurt would never forget the first time he knew he felt something more than friendly, something quite a bit like love for Blaine.

They had been friends for six months, so naturally he cared about Blaine. It made sense that he wanted to make him laugh and was sad when he was sad. It was normal that he had more fun with Blaine than he did with most other people, that he thought of Blaine when he wasn't there, that he dreamed of Blaine occasionally, and his smile and his eyes and his lips...okay, maybe it wasn't normal. But Kurt was in denial. Kurt believed, mostly because he wanted it to be true, that all he felt for Blaine was platonic. Until, one day, he couldn't deny it anymore.

It started out like a normal day. He woke up and went about his business as usual. His breakfast was ordinary, as was his skin care routine. His walk to the coffee shop where he and Blaine met regularly was ordinary and he took his seat - across from the empty one that Blaine would occupy in a few minutes - with an ordinary smile on his face, ordinary excitement at the prospect of seeing Blaine stirring in his stomach. _Friends feel that though_, he told himself, pushing all non-friendly thoughts out of his mind. But, ten minutes later, Blaine was nowhere to be seen. Worried, Kurt checked his phone. Blaine was nothing if not punctual. He waited for fifteen more worrying minutes and then he sent a text to Blaine and, on a whim, one to Drew. He sat in his usual spot, drinking his coffee, like ordinary, but Kurt couldn't look across the table see Blaine, couldn't make a joke and hear his adorable laugh. So, it seemed, nothing was ordinary after all.

After an hour, Kurt left the coffee shop in a funk and checked his phone. He found that Drew had texted him but Blaine hadn't. Disappointed, he opened Drew's text and read: _Hey Kurty Kurt! _(Kurt laughed out loud and read on). _The Blainemeister's not doing so hot. Bad flu or cold or fever or something. He wouldn't let me anywhere near him. GERMS! _(Kurt laughed out loud again, Drew never did anything without spunk). _Care to try your luck? _Kurt quickly tapped out a reply that he would try and Drew said he'd meet him at the dorm in half an hour. That gave Kurt time to buy a bowl of chicken noodle soup, a container of Vicks and the newest issue of Vogue, three things he was sure a sick Blaine would appreciate. He found Drew, who greeted him with a salute, and they went up to their shared room. Drew opened the door with his key and whispered, "Good luck," as Kurt stepped inside.

"Drew, I told you I don't want to get you sick!" Blaine's sick, hoarse voice was both adorable and heartbreaking, Kurt decided, and as he stepped into view. "Kurt?!" Blaine exclaimed, his voice breaking, and Kurt had to resist the temptation to run and hug him. His nose and ears were bright pink and he started to cough and it made Kurt cringe, imagining how miserable Blaine must feel. "Why are you-"

"You didn't meet me. I was worried," Kurt said shyly, stepping closer to the sick boy's bed.

Blaine's eyes widened and he coughed again, "Coffee! Oh, Kurt, I'm sorry, I completely forgot." Kurt shrugged and stepped a bit closer, to which Blaine said, "You should probably stay there. I'm lethal."

Kurt laughed but didn't heed Blaine's advice. "I have a very impressive immune system," he continued toward Blaine, and sat at the foot of his bed, smiling up at him in defiance.

"Well, don't say I didn't warn you!" Blaine said with a hoarse laugh. His eyes lit up as Kurt produced soup and Vicks and Vogue and, to Kurt, in that moment, it was all worth it. Just to see Blaine's eyes light up like that, to earn an ear-to-ear grin, to be the cause of the sparkle in Blaine's eyes. He would do anything, he decided, anything at all to get Blaine to look that happy. _Well, crap_, he thought to himself. And that's when he knew.

Hours later, Kurt had moved to sit next to Blaine, leaning up against the headboard, as the two poured over Vogue together, arguing and critiquing and laughing until their stomachs hurt. Eventually, after Blaine's terrible attempt at hiding a huge yawn, Kurt knew it was time for him to leave. It was unfair and awful and cruel that, with Blaine sitting there, all helpless and smiley and adorably sick, Kurt had to go. But he knew that Blaine needed his rest, and he wouldn't rest with Kurt there.

Kurt stood up, "I think you need to sleep, Blaine. I should go." Blaine's face fell and the look in his eyes made Kurt want to jump right back into bed and never leave, but he stayed strong. "I'll come back tomorrow, okay?" This seemed to placate Blaine and he leaned back in his pillows, nodding and yawning again. Kurt started to clean up the empty soup bowl and countless tissues that covered the bed. As he turned to say his goodbye, he found that Blaine was asleep, a small smile on his beautiful face. Kurt put on his coat and was nearly to the door when he thought better of it. He stepped over to the bed and whispered, "Blaine? Blaine?" When he heard no response, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Blaine's forehead, as gently as he could. "See you tomorrow," he whispered, and with one last glance at the sick boy, he force himself to leave.

Kurt returned the next day and the next and just as Blaine started to recover, Kurt woke up with bleary eyes and a sore throat. But, Kurt didn't regret it, not at all. It was worth days of sickness and coughing and layers upon layers of Vicks - all of it was worth it - for the memory of Blaine's voice and his hoarse laugh and the way his eyes lit up every time Kurt came to visit. Kurt didn't regret a single minute of it, and wouldn't, no matter how sick he got.

And if Blaine took it upon himself to nurse Kurt back to health, all the better.

* * *

Blaine hung up the phone with a slam, anger visible on his ever-expressive face and Drew knew something was very, very wrong.

"Drew," Blaine started, clearly attempting to stop himself from yelling. "Is there anything you would like to tell me?"

"You look dashing in that shade of blue?" Drew smiled but Blaine remained stone faced, not amused, which Drew took to be quite a bad sign. "No? Not what you wanted to hear? Well then-"

"Something about _Kurt_, maybe?" Blaine interrupted, eyebrows raised.

Drew's eyes went wide and fearful as realization sunk in. "Oh, no," he said slowly.

"As much as I enjoyed hearing that he was in the city from your fiancée..." Drew looked confused so Blaine elaborated, "They went to high school together, apparently."

Drew laughed and replied jovially, "Well, small world! What are the-" he saw Blaine's face and trailed off. "Yeah, too soon? Okay, too soon."

Blaine joined Drew on the couch and put his head in his hands. "He's in New York, Drew." Drew coughed and nodded, attempting to look surprised until Blaine said, "Well, you already knew that. He saw me with Sebastian, apparently."

Drew frowned at Blaine's expression and asked, somewhat timidly, "And why is that bad?"

"He and Erik..." Blaine groaned and raised his head to meet Drew's eyes, "Erik cheated on him. They broke up." Drew gasped and looked shocked and irate as Blaine said, "I think he was planning on visiting me. I kind of ignored his texts a few weeks ago."

"You what?!" Drew's shock grew and Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please, Mr. Morality. You're the one who neglected to tell me he called here!" At this, Drew looked down and mumbled something, but Blaine was too upset to notice. "This is such a mess."

Drew patted him on the back and laughed, "It's it always, though? We should have known everything was going a bit too smoothly for us." Blaine laughed darkly and nodded.

According to Quinn, Kurt was pretty upset at seeing Blaine with Sebastian - which, in turn, made Blaine pretty upset for an entirely different reason - and he was staying with Rachel, their friend from high school and Quinn's maid of honor. Blaine didn't know what to think. A part of him ached for Kurt, for Erik's betrayal and for having to learn about Sebastian in such a casual way. He wanted to go to him, to comfort him, to wrap him into a warm hug. But another part of him remembered everything they had been through and didn't understand how Kurt dared to be jealous. Blaine had dealt with years of Kurt and Erik's public romance and relationship and Kurt couldn't handle a little hand-holding? It was insane.

But, despite his anger and frustration with Kurt, Blaine couldn't help but wonder: why was he so hurt by seeing Blaine with Sebastian? Quinn had made it sound like he was heart-broken, devastated. Surely, Kurt didn't feel something for Blaine? He couldn't possibly love Blaine, could he? After all this time?

Blaine didn't know what to think. Only, simply hearing Kurt's name, and saying it himself, sent a flicker of something through Blaine. Something thrilling and foreign, like longing mixed with nostalgia and excitement. He couldn't place it and tried to ignore it and hated to think that it might be something akin to love.

* * *

Kurt sometimes thought that he could remember every conversation he and Blaine had ever had. Every shared joke and meaningful glance and phrase and word and clause. His memories of Blaine were some of his most vivid. The day Blaine introduced him to Erik was one of the worst, the most unforgettable.

Blaine had told Kurt that he wanted him to meet his good friend, Erik. At this, Kurt was thrilled, imagining Blaine telling Erik about him and wanting to introduce Kurt to his friends. He wondered what it meant and hoped it meant something good. He thought of the eager way he had described his every moment with Blaine to Quinn and Rachel on speakerphone; how they ooh-ed and ahh-ed over his stories and shouted at him, "KISS HIM!" and "ASK HIM OUT!" and "GET SOME!," obnoxious as ever. He wondered how the conversations went with Blaine and Erik; if Erik was coming along on Blaine's request, to gauge Kurt's interest, if Erik was trying, much as Kurt's friends were, to get Blaine to make a move.

Kurt was filled with excitement and hope and optimism until a different thought crossed his mind: hadn't Blaine mentioned that Erik was gay? Hadn't Blaine said that Erik was one of the best guys he knew, a real charmer, charismatic and funny and kind? Realization hit Kurt like a ton of bricks: Blaine was setting him up with Erik.

It all made sense. Clearly, Kurt had been too obvious, too showy with his affection. His face burned as he thought of what Blaine must have felt, how put-upon and awkward. But Blaine, being sweet as usual, wouldn't just tell Kurt to back off. No, he would try to find Kurt someone with whom he could be happy, someone toward whom he could channel his affection, someone other than Blaine.

Hours later, when Kurt met Erik, he was shy yet confident; he flirted and he laughed and he did his best to charm Erik, just to spite Blaine. He wasn't being fair, he knew, but still: he wanted to prove that, even if Blaine wasn't interested, Erik would be. Kurt wasn't a pariah; he deserved someone wonderful and if it couldn't be Blaine, then Erik, with his big smile and warm heart, would do perfectly.

And maybe, one day, Blaine would realize what he had let slip through his fingers. Maybe, one day, Blaine would wake up and find himself in love with Kurt and he would rush to Kurt's apartment (which would be filled with flowers from Erik and pictures of Erik and maybe even Erik himself, asleep in Kurt's bed) and Blaine would profess his undying love and Kurt would smile sadly. He would place a gently hand on Blaine's shoulder and let him down easy. And then, he would tell him that he had a friend, a lovely, charismatic, gay friend who was just perfect for Blaine. Maybe, then, Blaine would understand how it felt.

As Erik and Kurt made plans for their first date, Kurt sneaked a glance at Blaine, who looked shocked and maybe even a bit sad. _No_, Kurt thought, _not possible._ He looked away, shaking his head, trying to forget the look in Blaine's eyes, to tell himself he hadn't seen anything but a pleased matchmaker, a friend who had succeeded in bringing two people together. Blaine was happy for Kurt and so Kurt was happy, too. _Erik really was lovely,_ he reminded himself. Even if he wasn't Blaine.

* * *

With all thoughts of romance and reunions and true love squashed, Kurt sat eating popcorn on Rachel's couch in his robe and slippers. He tried to focus on the good: he was back with his best friends; he was in the best city in the world. He was okay. Or, he would be.

Seeing Blaine with Sebastian had been a huge wake-up call. Kurt realized that, while he may have loved Blaine with all his heart, he didn't really know Blaine; not anymore. He didn't know Blaine's favorite songs or the newest trends that drove him crazy. He didn't know where he went to relax or to have fun or what made him laugh the hardest. He didn't know what Blaine did when he woke up or went to bed, he didn't even know how Blaine occupied most of his days! Was he still going to classes? Was he teaching? Working? Kurt realized how foolish he had been. The prospect of simply inserting himself into Blaine's new life was laughable, it couldn't be done; so, maybe they would have to start small, take baby steps.

And, Kurt remembered, Blaine wasn't the only reason he had come to New York. Of course, he was a huge factor, that was true. But, as Kurt pulled out his Columbia application and began working, he reminded himself that he had dreams here, dreams that weren't just about one curly-haired, adorable boy. He didn't' have to look far to remember the other reasons he came to New York: his best friends in the world, Rachel and Quinn. Being back with them made him realized just how much he had missed them: their crazy antics and warms smiles, their unending support and shoulders to cry on when needed.

Kurt just needed to refresh his memory: the world would not stop just because things didn't go according to his plans. When had things ever gone according to his plans? And yet, somehow, they had still worked out in the end, hadn't they? Just in ways he hadn't expected. Kurt forced himself to stop being a lump and start getting on with his life, his new life, in New York. He had much to be sad about, sure, but he had even more to celebrate.

Rachel and Quinn had been concerned, afraid that Kurt's bad attitude and lackluster enthusiasm were permanent changes. So, three days after their near miss with Blaine and Sebastian, when Kurt could be heard singing in the shower and he put on regular clothes again, Rachel called Quinn to celebrate the good news.

Quinn met them at the apartment for lunch and asked Kurt if he'd like to run errands with her, winking at Rachel across the table. Kurt looked down at his grilled cheese and up at Quinn and Rachel, who looked at him expectantly, wearing matching smiles of encouragement, and agreed.

"I just think it would be a good idea for you to get out of the house," Quinn said, as Kurt wrapped himself in a scarf and put on his pea coat. "And I thought we could go and see Drew, if that's okay with you." Kurt looked alarmed at the suggestion and Quinn assured him, "Blaine won't be there, don't worry."

Kurt agreed and Rachel gave them both a kiss on the cheek in goodbye as they left.

"You're really missing out when you're cooped up inside." Quinn said, hooking her arm with Kurt's as they walked down the street. "You can't appreciate New York in a bathrobe on your couch." She said with a laugh. She gestured around her and cried, "_This _is how you appreciate New York!" Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes and Quinn smiled, relieved. It was so good to hear Kurt laughing again. She wondered for a brief moment if she was doing the right thing, if maybe she and Rachel were being meddlesome when they ought not to be. But she quickly reminded herself of what Drew had told her; of how upset Blaine was to hear about Kurt and how the two of them still had things they needed to work out. No, they were doing the right thing.

They stopped for coffee near Drew and Blaine's apartment, and the caffeine seemed to work magic on Kurt. Any remnants of the sad boy who had been occupying Rachel's couch for days were completely gone. Kurt started teasing Quinn about being so eager to see her fiancee and Quinn laughed. Minutes later, they arrived, and Quinn used her key (which inspired a "you have a key?!" from Kurt) to let them in.

They walked up a flight of stairs and Quinn pointed at a door, "This is it," she said with a smile.

Kurt laughed and nodded, "It's a very nice door. Drew always had good taste." He winked as Quinn laughed and opened the door. They stepped inside and Quinn began to give Kurt a tour when they heard a voice from the bedroom.

"Is that you, Drew? Did you get the bagels you promised? You know you owe..." Blaine trailed off as he stepped into the living room and saw that it wasn't Drew, not even close.

Quinn clapped and laughed, sounding slightly crazy and nervous, and said, "Nope, not Drew. Not at all. I didn't expect you to be here, Blaine. Weird!" Blaine's eyebrows were about as high as they could go as Quinn exclaimed, "Oh, shoot! We were meeting at my place, not his place. I should go." Kurt whipped his head around to glare at Quinn with wide, warning eyes. He mouthed something at Quinn, but she looked away, "Blaine, is it okay if Kurt stays here for a bit?" Blaine went to respond and Kurt started to object, but Quinn cried, "Great! Perfect! See you later, then. Bye!" And, with that, she was gone, winking at Kurt and flying through the door.

Kurt and Blaine stood at opposite sides of the room, both looking at their hands, afraid to speak or move or look at each other. They stood apart for what felt like a long time and then, at once, they both began to speak.

"So I-"

"Kurt-"

They both stop and start to laugh, making eye contact for the first time. It was weird and new and different because it had been over a year and they were in New York and Kurt got dumped and Blaine was with Sebastian; yet, somehow, it was the same. It felt just like it used to because Blaine was still Blaine and Kurt was Kurt. So, when their eyes met, they both smiled because they couldn't help it.

"Long time, no see," Blaine said, smile widening and Kurt's smile grew in response.

"You're telling me," Kurt replied and at that, Blaine walked toward him, opening his arms and Kurt met him in the middle for the first hug they had shared in far too long. As Blaine listened to Kurt's breath and to his own racing heart and felt the warmth of Kurt's arms and smelled the smell of flowers and shampoo and _Kurt, _he sighed, happy and relieved. Months could pass and lives could move on, things could change and people could change but this, this thing between them, this friendship or connection or whatever you wanted to call it; _this_ would never change. In spite of everything between them, everything left unsaid and unacknowledged, it felt right.

As they pulled apart, wearing matching blushes and bright eyes, Kurt asked softly, "Can we please be friends again?" And that, to Blaine, sounded like the best thing in the world.


	3. But love's not lost

Author's Note: Lyrics by Ali Ingle – go listen to Tornado! You won't regret it! :) Blaine and Kurt are, sadly, not mine, but this universe is. This is the third part in a six-part conclusion to the Safe With Me trilogy…so you should read Safe with Me and Your Old Heart before this or it won't make any sense! Enjoy and review if you feel so inclined.

**PART THREE**

_**And I've memorized all you said**_

_**I was brought to life when we saw the dead**_

* * *

So, it seemed that they were pretending nothing had happened. They had never kissed nor fought nor fallen in love. Blaine had never professed his love for Kurt, had never told Kurt to marry Erik. Kurt had never asked for a reason _not_ to marry Erik, had never been jealous to see Blaine with Sebastian. Blaine would pretend he didn't know that Kurt was hurt and Kurt would pretend he wasn't. It should have been harder, really, to slip back into their old routine. Yet, as Blaine and Kurt always did, they made it work. Against all odds and defying all logic, they became friends again.

It was odd, to be sure, that they both knew more about the other than they were letting on. Other people (their friends included) might find it strange that could be just friends considering all they'd been through. But, the fact of the matter was: they may have grown apart and they may have fought and they may both have been struggling with unresolved feelings of love and anger and resentment, but, when it came to the important things, they hadn't changed at all since the day they first met. Blaine was still the nervous, eager freshman looking for love and destiny and Kurt was still the wide-eyed, beautiful boy in his music theory class. On the most fundamental level, at their cores, their truest selves, they were the same. Blaine still believed in fate and soul mates so strongly and Kurt still wished he could believe the way Blaine did.

They were both bound and determined to make a friendship work because neither could accept the alternative: a life without the other.

* * *

Kurt thought it was incredibly stupid. Stupid and unfair and pointless and bound for disaster. _Remember the last time we were friends?_ he wanted to shout at Blaine. _Remember all the times we got hurt and hurt other people? Remember how it blew up in our faces? _But he held his tongue. He had, after all, been the one to ask to be friends in the first place. No matter how enthusiastically Rachel and Quinn and Drew responded to the new friendship, Kurt had trouble finding the same enthusiasm.

He didn't want to be friends with Blaine, not _just_ friends at least. Sure, he wanted to be able to call Blaine for no reason, just to hear his voice. He wanted to send Blaine random texts throughout the week about fashion crimes and funny commercials whenever he pleased, without it being inappropriate or strange. He wanted to make Blaine laugh and to sing duets with him and talk to him about their futures and their pasts and their secrets. But, he knew, as much as they could do all of that, it would be so much better if they could do more. If they weren't _just friends_, Kurt could call Blaine for no reason, just to hear his voice, and tell Blaine he loved him. He could send Blaine _romantic_ texts throughout the week, along with random ones. He could tickle Blaine and sing cheesy duets with him and talk to them about their future _together_ and their_ shared_ past. More than that, Kurt could kiss Blaine and slow dance with him, he could compliment his eyes and his voice and his laugh and not worry about what it would mean or how it would sound. But, as it was, Kurt couldn't really be himself with Blaine, not fully. Because if he could, there was no way Kurt would let a day go by without kissing Blaine silly, without telling him how the sun rose and set with him, without promising to spend forever with him.

Kurt wanted so much more, but he knew he couldn't have it. Blaine really loved Sebastian; as heart-breaking as it was for Kurt to realize, it was true. So, he accepted his horribly cruel fate and cherished every moment he had with Blaine, even if the reality of their friendship could never compare with what Kurt imagined they could have; even if it reminded Kurt of just why he loved Blaine so very much; even if it broke Kurt's heart a little more every day.

Kurt would cope with the bittersweet feelings and the unrequited affection and the melodrama of it all. Blaine was worth it, that much he knew. He had always been and would always be worth it.

* * *

"So, Kurt said he didn't want to come? That doesn't sound like him." Rachel called through the curtain as she squeezed into a hot pink dress. "Have you ever known him to turn down shopping?" She asked. Quinn chuckled in response and, when Rachel stepped out of the dressing room, she burst into loud laughter, clutching her stomach and falling back against the wall.

"Oh, thank you. I needed that," she said after she had recovered, wiping the amused tears from her eyes.

Rachel had agreed to try on the ugliest dress she could find because Quinn needed a pick-me-up. She had called her parents to discuss the wedding and, from what Rachel could hear as she eavesdropped, it hadn't gone well. Quinn's relationship with her parents had always been complicated, so it really was no surprise. Still, Quinn needed a good laugh, and Rachel in a hideous dress was exactly the cure to her bad mood. Rachel went back behind the curtain to try on other dresses, ones that they were actually considering for the bridesmaids now, and Quinn said, "I think he's with Blaine. In which case, it sounds just like him."

Rachel laughed and zipped up a dark blue, strapless dress and went out to show Quinn.

Quinn shrugged, "It's all right..."

"Not perfect, though, I agree." Rachel said resolutely and went back to change. "Don't you think it's weird though?" She said as she took the dress off. "They're not dating, but they're clearly in love. And Blaine's with that tall, snarky guy."

"_Sebastian_ is a sweetheart," Quinn said, laughing. "But he's not Kurt. And Blaine's going to realize that one day."

Rachel came out wearing a yellow dress that did _not_ compliment her coloring and both girls made faces at the gown, clearly not a candidate. "I'm just worried about Kurt," Rachel said as she pulled up the dress, trying to see if it would be better shorter. "I don't want him to get hurt again."

Quinn sighed, "I don't either. But, I know Blaine and I just..." she hesitated, trying to find the words to describe it. "I think Kurt might get hurt. Again. And Blaine might get hurt and Sebastian will definitely get hurt, probably...unfortunately." Rachel pulled a face so Quinn said, "Rachel, be nice. You don't have to root for him, but he is a good guy." Rachel rolled her eyes and went back to the dressing room to change into her normal clothes. Quinn continued, "As I was _saying_, they'll all probably get hurt along the way. That's what happens with love stories like theirs. But I just feel like they're going to end up together. I don't know why, it just feels right."

Rachel pulled the curtain aside and threw all of the dresses into Quinn's outstretched arms, "Like you and Dre-ew?" She asked, adding an extra syllable to his name in an annoying, sing-song voice.

"Yeah, like me and Drew," Quinn said, nodding, purposely ignoring Rachel's sass. "And like you and Finn," she added softly. Rachel's face went more somber in response and she nodded sadly.

"I guess for both their sakes, and for mine," Rachel said with a sigh, "I hope you're right." Quinn put the rejected dresses in a pile by the door and she reached a hand up to pat Rachel's arm.

"I am right," she said with a small smile. "You'll see."

* * *

The best intentions and fiercest optimism couldn't stop their first attempt at friendship from being weird. They had agreed to have a Molly Ringwald marathon at Kurt's apartment - Rachel would be at rehearsal all day - the Saturday after they had reconciled, pledging to be friends again. They decided that Blaine would bring the movies and Kurt would supply the snacks and drinks and magazines, and they both were more excited than they cared to admit. When Kurt heard the buzzer signaling Blaine's arrival, his heart sped up and he felt the long-dormant butterflies in his stomach fly around in a flurry. He buzzed Blaine up with a laugh and, when Blaine knocked on the door, Kurt nearly dropped the popcorn bowl he was holding. He shook his head, chastising himself for his silliness, and let Blaine in. They hugged and it was wonderful, but different, too, less open and more inhibited than their last embrace.

They exchanged "how are you's" and found that they were both giggly and nervous, unaccustomed to each other's company after so long. Blaine followed Kurt into the kitchen to get drinks and, as Kurt got cups from the cupboard and Blaine got ice from the freezer, Kurt scolded himself for his nerves, _this is Blaine_.

So, when they stepped into the living room and Blaine put in _Pretty in Pink_, Kurt forced himself to stop acting like a fool. When Andrew McCarthy appeared on screen, Kurt said the first thing that came to mind, "Ah, the first Blaine I ever loved."

Blaine choked on his popcorn and Kurt blushed scarlet, cursing his mouth for letting him say such a stupid thing.

Blaine started to laugh and said, "I guess you were doomed then." Kurt glanced at Blaine to see that he, too, was blushing, but smiling, as well. They laughed together for a while and Kurt threw a few pieces of popcorn at Blaine. Just like that, as oddly as ever, the ice was broken and slowly but surely they felt themselves going back to normal. Or, as normal as they could hope to be.

They gushed over Andie and Duckie and Blane and, about halfway through the movie, they were so caught up in enthusiastic conversation that Rachel, finished with rehearsal early, made her way through the kitchen and living room, singing loudly to herself, and they didn't even notice. Rachel stood, amused, and watched as they argued about the best song of the year, laughing and feigning outrage at each other's opinions. She smiled as she saw how happy Kurt looked, how easily they had returned to their old friendship. Rachel made her way to her room, singing again, and thought that maybe it was time she picked up the phone and gave Finn a call.

* * *

"Guys! Guys! Over here!" Drew waved his arms around dramatically and whistled a bit until Rachel tapped Quinn on the shoulder and she turned, smiling and laughing at Drew's expression. They made their way over to his table, hands full of shopping bags and Drew greeted Rachel with a hug and Quinn with a kiss.

After a long day of dress shopping, Drew had offered to treat the girls to coffee, so they met him at his favorite shop. He went to the counter to place their orders and Rachel smiled at Quinn, "So...you were right. Drew is really great." Quinn cheered quietly and Rachel rolled her eyes with a smile.

"What? You never tell me I'm right. I have to celebrate every little victory," Quinn replied with a smirk.

Drew returned, coffees in hand and asked, "Do I even _want_ to know what's in the bags?" Both girls laughed and Rachel started showing off their purchases, random odds and ends and the cutest pair of shoes Rachel had ever seen and a sweater that really brought out the green in Quinn's eyes. Her enthusiasm spread and soon, Quinn was describing all the hideous dresses they saw and forcing Drew to smell the candle they bought. Always a good sport, Drew ooh-ed and ahh-ed and complimented where necessary, thrilled to see Quinn so happy, reunited with her best friend.

They sat talking long after their coffees were gone and, after reading a vague text from Blaine, Drew asked, "So, what's the deal with Kurt and Blaine?"

Rachel and Quinn exchanged a significant look and Quinn said, "We have no idea."

None of their friends could really understand what Kurt and Blaine were up to. They were all cautiously optimistic, but feared for the worst: broken hearts and silent treatments and nasty fights.

"I've never really understood them, but this?" Drew said with a laugh, "This is weird even for them. I'm all for being friends..." he hesitated and said, his concern clear in his eyes, "I'm just really worried that it's more complicated then they realize."

Rachel nodded her agreement and said, "Exes always try to be friends, but it never works. Or, well, they're not exes but...yeah, it's weird." Quinn and Drew laughed.

"I think you're both wrong, " Quinn said with a smile. "I think it's sweet." Rachel scoffed and Drew gave Quinn a doubting look, so she went on, "Oh, please. I'm looking at two of the most hopeless of hopeless romantics and you're telling me you're _not_ hoping they'll get together?" At that, they both seemed speechless, so Quinn nodded. "That's what I thought. Weird or not, they're doing what they have to do. They'll figure it out."

Drew grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "You're such a softie," he said proudly and she laughed. "I just hope they're careful. Sebastian doesn't deserve anything fishy."

Quinn ignored Rachel's irritated glare in response and she agreed, "You're right. We'll just have to make sure to look out for him, that's all."

Rachel scoffed and, as put-upon as could be, asked, "And when _exactly_ do I get to meet this Sebastian?"

"Right now, I'd say."

Rachel shrieked and turned around to see Sebastian and Blaine, smiles on their faces, each with a cup of coffee in hand, and Kurt standing a few steps behind them, looking a bit less happy and a bit more conflicted. Quinn and Drew laughed as they all said their hello's and Sebastian and Rachel introduced themselves. Blaine and Sebastian didn't stay for long, they were headed to a movie apparently, but Kurt pulled up a chair and joined his friends.

Once the couple was gone, Rachel and Quinn turned to Kurt immediately, asking him how on earth he ended up getting coffee with Blaine and Sebastian. Kurt explained that Sebastian had wanted to meet the "famous Kurt" and so he had met Kurt and Blaine at Blaine's apartment. They had spent a few awkward hours playing cards and Kurt had found, sadly enough, that Sebastian wasn't the terrible monster he had been imagining. He was, instead, a perfectly normal, and very attractive guy, who just happened to be in love with the same boy as Kurt. He wasn't the enemy or nemesis Kurt had imagined; not a villain at all, just the hero of a different story.

"I'm just glad they're gone," he said honestly. "I had no idea..." he trailed off, looking at his coffee mug, ignoring the three sets of curious eyes on him, "I didn't know how much it hurt. To see the person you love with someone else." He sighed sadly, "I can't believe I put Blaine through that for so long."

He looked up and found Drew shaking his head adamantly, "He put himself through it, Kurt. He knew it was worth it." Kurt shook his head unconvinced and Rachel, always good at distracting him, took that as a cue to change the subject.

Rachel described the countless dresses she tried on and made Kurt promise that, next time, he would come with them and save them from the agony of lime green princess cuts and polka-dotted monstrosities. In no time, Kurt was laughing and joking with Quinn and Rachel about what he would force both of them to wear for his wedding one day and he didn't notice Drew's watchful, concerned eyes on him.

Drew's loyalty lay with Blaine, to be sure, but he was fond of Kurt, too. Maybe he had been so worried about Sebastian's well being that he had forgotten how being in a similar position as Kurt was in now had nearly broken Blaine years before. He remembered the nights he spent helping Blaine try to forget, the nights he realized Blaine never would. He remembered how his heart had broken for his best friend and, as he looked at Kurt, he was afraid that history was repeating itself.

* * *

_**But love's not lost**_

_**Just on its way**_

_**As I watch the night turn into day**_

_**With you**_

* * *

After a couple of months of being once again in the same city, Kurt and Blaine found themselves falling into a new routine, or an old one. They got coffee together once a week, just like old times, and gossiped and laughed and talked about anything they could think up. They stole glances over cups of coffee and did their best to refrain from discussing some topics that they both understood to be taboo: namely, Erik and the past and the memories of kissing and spending hours together in the practice room. As long as they never strayed too close to sensitive issues, they found that it really was like nothing had changed since their freshman year. Sometimes, Drew would join them or Rachel or Quinn would accompany them. But, usually, Blaine and Kurt found themselves sitting alone, at what the affectionately called "their table," catching each other up on the many months of funny stories and scary interviews and little, ordinary details of everyday life they had missed in their period of silence.

One day, the week after Thanksgiving, as Blaine tried and failed to split a cookie evenly in half, Kurt looked up, a glint in his eye and said, "I want you to give me a tour of the city."

Blaine handed him the half-crumbled piece of cookie that was supposed to be a half and raised his eyebrows, "And what brought on that sudden inspiration?"

Kurt munched on the cookie as he thought about his answer. He swallowed and, smiling at Blaine, said, "I've been here for three months now, but I'm still such a tourist." Blaine rolled his eyes, so Kurt elaborated, "Someone stopped me on the street yesterday and wanted advice about where to go for dinner and I froze! I had no idea what to tell them! So I pointed at a random restaurant and ran away!" Blaine laughed and Kurt pointed a finger at him, "So, you see? I need your help. Quite desperately."

Blaine continued to laugh and started to nod. "Okay," he said and Kurt smiled brightly. "How about this weekend sometime? Sebastian's out of town and Drew and Quinn are visiting Drew's parents, so we'll have our run of the city."

"Oh yeah?" Kurt asked with a raised eyebrow, and Blaine nodded enthusiastically. "So, just because our friends are gone, the other millions of people who live here will just let us do what we want?" Blaine rolled his eyes and Kurt smiled, finishing his cookie. He looked at Blaine and smiled, all teasing done, "This weekend sounds perfect."

So, as Blaine and Kurt went back to their separate apartments, they both had something to look forward to. Blaine began making a mental list of all the things Kurt needed to see and experience and eat. By the time the weekend rolled around, and Blaine said goodbye to Sebastian with a quick kiss on the cheek and Kurt hugged Quinn and waved to an antsy Drew, Blaine had the perfect evening planned.

First, Blaine took Kurt to his favorite hole-in-the-wall coffee shop for, what he called, the best espresso on the East Coast. He had tried to bring Drew there several times, but Drew said it reminded him of his disastrous summer trip to Tibet (a trip Blaine was pretty sure never actually happened), whatever that meant, so Blaine usually went there alone. As soon as the crossed the threshold into the shop, Kurt knew exactly why Blaine liked it. Sure, it was a bit dumpy and the couch cushions were quite literally falling apart. All the chairs were mismatched and looked as though they would break if you sat with enough force and the menu was barely legible and the staff shifty-eyed and strange; but, it had charm. There was something about the curtains hung everywhere and the old-fashioned portraits of dogs lining the walls and the softly playing 20's music and the smell of Christmas trees - none of it fit together, and yet it fit perfectly - that Kurt liked. Blaine looked at Kurt nervously, prepared for him to turn up his nose and beg Blaine to take him elsewhere, but he just smiled, as bright as ever, and said, "I love it." The espresso was delicious and they sang along to the music as they sat in the corner, enjoying every sip. Blaine was telling a story about a particularly talented student whose paper had inspired him, for some untouchable, unquantifiable reason, and Kurt was struck by how wonderful it would be to have a TA like Blaine.

"I bet you're wonderful at your job," he interrupted, and Blaine's brow furrowed, caught off-guard. "You're so willing to help others, to share your knowledge and personality. I'm sure your students love you. I know I would..." he trailed off, feeling embarrassed, and wondering if Blaine was thinking the same thing he was: Kurt _did_ love him, that was the problem.

But, quite unexpectedly, Blaine reached over and squeezed Kurt's hand, paying no mind to Kurt's slip. "Thank you," he said, smiling a small, smile, his eyes lighting up beautifully.

A moment passed and another, and Blaine didn't let go of Kurt's hand. They sat like that, just looking at each other, smiling, caught up in the magic of the moment and the music and each other.

In an instant, Blaine's expression changed from loving to cold, and he dropped Kurt's hand, avoiding his eye contact. He muttered an apology and started cleaning up their cups, getting ready to go.

"What's next?" Kurt asked, eager to wipe the coldness from Blaine's face. Blaine returned to the table, smiling as if nothing had happened, and led Kurt outside. They walked to Blaine's favorite park, the place he went to think or write or grade when he needed green space. It was a beautiful, although small, patch of earth, with a tired looking swing-set and a few benches that had seen better days. Kurt marveled at Blaine's ability to find places like this, places that other people would overlook as musty or overgrown, and treat them with awe and love and admiration. Blaine was incredible.

They walked over to the swing set and sat there for a while, Blaine describing the day that he had first found the park. He was new to the city and he was completely, hopelessly lost. His phone was dead and he was late to class and he had just about given up when a patch of green had caught his eye. He had wandered toward it and found the loveliest, smallest, most abandoned-looking park he had ever seen. "And from then on, it was my place," he said simply. He smiled at Kurt, the sight of Blaine's beautiful smile, surrounded by the lovely park with the sun setting in the background, was almost too much for Kurt to bear.

After a few more minutes, they left the park, Kurt sure that he would revisit it alone sometime soon, when he could appreciate it without being distracted by appreciating Blaine. Blaine hailed them a taxi and instructed the driver to "just drive in a big circle," which earned a disgruntled sigh in response. As the taxi made its way slowly down the street, Blaine described the area to Kurt. He told him that, if he walked five blocks in that direction, he would find the cutest bookstore he'd ever see. If he went four blocks up and then three to the right down that street, he could get the best cupcakes in New York. To the left he could walk and step into a wonderful Ethiopian restaurant and behind them was a great sushi place. If he wanted Mexican, the best place was actually right down the street from Rachel's apartment and the best Chinese was close to Blaine's. Kurt soaked it all in, taking every excuse to watch Blaine as he pointed out the window, caught up in imagining all the wonderful places he was describing. Kurt wasn't the only one sneaking glances, though. Whenever Kurt would look to where Blaine pointed, Blaine would watch the beautiful boy seated next to him, watch as his eyes lit up or his nose scrunched or he threw his head back in laughter.

Finally, when Blaine saw a road that clearly meant something to him, he told the driver to stop. He handed him a wad of cash yelling, "Keep the change!" and pulled Kurt out of the cab. They took a couple of left turns and Blaine stopped in front of a beautiful brick building.

"This is our second-to-final destination," he said, waving his arms dramatically, and led Kurt inside. It turned out to be a cozy French restaurant, where they split a few appetizers, neither caring to limit themselves to just one dish. The food was perfect, Kurt decided, and the music, beautiful and harmonious and _French_, didn't hurt either. Blaine had Kurt translate every song, and, after awhile, Kurt grew tired, so Blaine took over. He didn't know a word of French, but neither boy seemed to mind.

"Hmm..." he started, "that means my grizzly bear is looking rather thin, so I probably should so play tennis tomorrow with the mayor." Blaine paused, feigning serious contemplation and nodded, "Yeah, mayor. That word is tricky because it can mean mayor or mayonnaise. But I think, given the syntax, that it means mayor." Kurt smiled, crinkles forming around his eyes, as he held back laughter. "Oh, and he definitely just said something about peanut butter and sausage, which I must say is a very strange combination. But, I've heard," he gave Kurt a serious, sideways look as if sharing a secret, "that peanut-butter sausage is quite the delicacy in the Eastern part of France."

"They feed it to their thin grizzly bears," Kurt deadpanned, nodding and Blaine burst out laughing. Kurt couldn't help but join him and they sat, laughing, eyes bright and happy. When the bill came, Kurt insisted he pay, "You're the tour guide! The tour guide never pays." Blaine disagreed but Kurt assured him that that was the rule. When they stepped back into the cold, New York air, night had fallen. "Well, I don't know how you'll top that," Kurt said with a smile. "That may have been the best meal ever."

"Because of the music," Blaine said, nodding.

"Because of the music, " Kurt smiled.

"I did save the best for last though," Blaine said with a mysterious grin, and lead Kurt back in the direction they came. He lead Kurt to a train station, where they waited and whispered fashion tips to passing travelers, too quiet for anyone but the two of them to hear. After a bit of a wait, they took a train headed somewhere, Kurt wasn't sure where, and Blaine pointed him to the map on the side of the train-car. Blaine showed him approximately the path they had taken so far, on foot and in cab, and showed him where they were going, on the outskirts of the city.

The exited the train at a deserted-looking stop (Kurt would expect nothing less), and made their way toward an old building covered in moss. "One of New York's best kept secrets," Blaine said with a wink, as he held up his school ID to a sensor by the door. Kurt followed him, intrigued and excited, and watched as Blaine signed them into a log book and nodded at a sleepy looking security guard. "Evening, Rex," Blaine said with a smile. _Of course he would know the security guard_, Kurt thought, with equal love and disbelief.

_"_Mr. Anderson," the guard nodded in return and Kurt gave him a quick wave as Blaine led him toward a flight of stairs. They took flight after flight and, just when Kurt was sure his hair was completely ruined and that his breathing couldn't get more ragged, they reached the top floor. Blaine held open the door and, as Kurt stepped through he couldn't help but gasp. There was New York, all of it, lit up and on display for them to see. They were on the top of the building, which, Blaine explained, was a rarely used office for some faction of his department. Blaine had after hours access, as all graduate students did, but he was one of the few who used it.

Kurt walked around, exploring the roof, and marveled at the beautiful view. Only Blaine could find a place where they could see the whole skyline, the entire beauty of the city, without the hustle and bustle. Blaine threw Kurt a blanket he must have left somewhere and Kurt wrapped it around his shoulders. Blaine led him over to a set of lawn chairs that had, according to Blaine, been there for months. They each took a chair to the far end of the roof and sat, side-by-side, watching the lights, watching each other.

"Best tour ever," Kurt said, looking over at Blaine with a smile on his face and, though Kurt could barely tell in the darkness, Blaine seemed to blush.

They sat and talked, Kurt asked Blaine to tell him about Sebastian and Blaine asked after Erik in turn. They approached all the topics they avoided over their weekly coffee. For some reason, maybe the magic of the tour or the darkness or solitude or surreality of the moment, they didn't feel tense or uncomfortable. They talked and talked and talked and time flew, as it always seemed to when they were together. Before they knew it, the endless darkness started to brighten and the streetlights began to blink off one by one. Kurt yawned, which caused Blaine to yawn in return, and they started to move their fingers and toes, nearly frozen in the chilly air. Neither boy seemed eager to leave the roof, as if going down the stairs was symbolic of returning to reality, to their complicated lives and loves and pasts. They stalled as much as they could, but, eventually everything must end, and so did their night.

They caught a deserted train back into the city and they walked back to Kurt's apartment. Kurt made up a bed for Blaine on the couch and reluctantly retired to his cold bed, alone. Exhausted and barely thawed, both Blaine and Kurt lay in bed, unable to sleep despite their tiring day. Their minds were filled with thoughts of each other, of hands held and secrets told and memories made; and of another life too, of kisses and touches and their life in Evanston and who they used to be.

When they met, back before things got complicated and messy and life became, well, life, neither boy had ever imagined how convoluted things would become. They knew they couldn't go back, even though both had wished for a fresh start many times in the past months. They would never again be the wide-eyed, inexperienced boys who bonded over music theory and Katy Perry and Broadway. They could never recapture that innocence, that newness. But, for the first time in years, as Blaine and Kurt finally drifted off to sleep, neither boy wished for the past, for an undo button or a retry. Something was happening to them, between them, and they didn't understand it, but they knew it was inevitable. And they were both very curious to see how it all panned out.

* * *

"I want to meet Kurt." Blaine glanced at his boyfriend, shocked, sure that that was exactly the last thing he had been expecting would come from Sebastian's lips. There they had been, making dinner, as they did most nights, Sebastian boiling the water and Blaine chopping the vegetables. Blaine had been talking about something completely unrelated to Kurt, something about Pottery Barn, he was sure. But, Sebastian was known to get lost in his thoughts, to say random things at random times, and this was no exception.

"What?" Sebastian asked, as he saw Blaine's surprised face. "You've told me so much about him. He was your first love. That's kind of a big deal," he said with a smile. "And if he's back in your life, then I think I should at least be able to put a face to the name."

It made sense, really. Kurt had only been in the city for a little over a month, but already, he and Blaine were starting to rekindle their friendship. After their Molly Ringwald marathon, they moved on to musicals and Disney and Audrey Hepburn, eager for any excuse to spend time getting to know each other again. He didn't want to bore Sebastian with detail of Kurt's life and their new friendship, but sometimes he couldn't help himself. He shared stories of Kurt's sense of humor and his political opinions and his predictions for Oscar nominees. Sebastian was a good sport; he listened and laughed and wondered just what it was about this Kurt character that had won Blaine over, twice now.

Blaine set down the tomato he was about to chop and frowned, considering it. "Okay," he said after a minute, "I'd like that." Sebastian turned from the stove to smile at him and Blaine stepped forward to kiss him sweetly. "I'm sure he'll love you," Blaine said, making his way back to the cutting board. Sebastian shot him a doubting look and a raised eyebrow and Blaine laughed, "Okay, well, I _hope _he'll love you." Sebastian nodded and turned his attention back to the stove, humming quietly to himself.

_What would Kurt think of Sebastian?_ Blaine wondered. For some reason, the idea of them meeting had never occurred to him. It wasn't weird to tell Sebastian about Kurt, but them meeting? Shaking hands and making small talk and trading fashion tips and embarrassing stories about Blaine? _That_ would be weird. Fighting logic as usual, Blaine had imagined that he would continue to date Sebastian and be friends with Kurt, as if in two separate, independent realities. It made sense, though, that one day they were bound to meet. They were, after all, two of the most important people in Blaine's life.

Yet, it gave him an unsettling feeling that he couldn't name, the idea of Kurt and Sebastian together. He ignored it, returning to his tomato. _No use dwelling on what hasn't happened_, he reminded himself, and he began to hum, harmonizing with his boyfriend.

* * *

Taking the high road was always something in which Blaine prided himself. When morality came knocking, Blaine answered. Without fail he learned how to steel himself for heartbreak and agony and pain if it meant that others wouldn't have to. Blaine was used to making sacrifices and concessions and excuses for others, for people he loved. But, as the months passed and winter fell, Blaine found that he wasn't ascribing to his usual mantra of doing unto others as he wanted done unto him.

He couldn't help it. Ever since the night on the roof, he felt that he was caught in something a spell or a trance, from which he couldn't - and wasn't sure he wanted to - escape.

Kurt had this power of him, this uncanny ability to make him forget who he was and what he wanted and what he had promised to himself and to others. When he was with Kurt, he couldn't imagine how he was doing anything bad or hurtful or disloyal. It just felt so right that it couldn't possible be wrong. He wasn't betraying Sebastian, he was merely spending time with his friend. Sebastian had even given him his blessing, had told Blaine that what he was doing was good and loyal.

Sure, Blaine loved Kurt; but how could he not? They had been friends for years. They had been through so much together that even Sebastian couldn't fault him for sustaining a friendship with Kurt. He loved Kurt, yes, but not like he loved Sebastian. He assured himself that there was a huge difference, like the difference between night and day, good and bad, friendship and romance.

If only it were that simple.

When Blaine was honest with himself, he realized that he didn't have to kiss Kurt to be cheating on Sebastian. He realized that he was well on his way to having an emotional affair. And, on some level, he knew he was not okay with it. He knew it had to stop.

* * *

"I'm just saying, I don't think anyone can pull off a sweater with a reindeer on it, even if she is adorable or talented or whatever." Blaine laughed and Sebastian turned to smile at him, but saw that Blaine wasn't laughing at him. He was typing away on his phone, clearly unaware that Sebastian had even spoken.

"Maybe I should take a leaf out of her book and set it on fire!" Blaine made a noise of fake-understanding and Sebastian sighed. "Or I could steal it and cut a whole in it. Maybe she wouldn't notice if the reindeer was gone."

"Great idea," Blaine said, distracted.

"I know, right? You could help me break into her apartment. I never told you but I spent some time in jail before we met. Breaking and entering, setting fire to sweaters, murder, the usual stuff." Blaine nodded and Sebastian, slightly amused and mostly irritated, yelled, "OH MY GOD, THERE'S A REINDEER IN THE APARTMENT!" This got Blaine's attention and he finally looked up from his phone, alarmed and very confused.

"Do I need to take your phone away from you? Jeez, Blaine, I thought we were having a conversation..." he trailed off and Blaine had the decency to look guilty and put his phone down for good.

"I'm sorry, it's just Kurt's live-texting me about the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries. You should read his texts, they're really funny.'

"Of course they are," Sebastian said in a low, nasty voice and Blaine gave him a confused look.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked. "You seem particularly irritable today."

Sebastian huffed in response and raised his an eyebrow, "Seriously? What's wrong with me? I'm not the one who's too busy texting another guy to talk to his boyfriend. I'm not the one who'd rather be somewhere else, _with_ someone else."

Blaine's confusion grew and his expression turned more sour, "What are you talking about? Somewhere else? Someone else? I don't know wha-"

"There's something going on with you and Kurt!" Sebastian cried, cutting Blaine off, his eyes hurt and angry. Blaine took a step back as if he had been slapped, his eyes widening. He started to shake his head and Sebastian laughed, loud and mean. "I should have known. I should have known you two couldn't be friends."

"But we are!" Blaine said, face pleading, reaching his hand to grab Sebastian's, "We're just fri-"

"Don't you dare," Sebastian interrupted, moving his hand away from Blaine's. "Don't you dare say you're just friends. You loved him once, we both know you did. You told me all about it, remember?" Blaine looked down, rubbing his rejected hand. "That he was this great love, that you thought he was your soul mate." Sebastian's voice cracked and he sighed, dropping his voice to something less confrontation, more sad and quiet, more vulnerable. "So, who's to say that really went away? Who's to say you don't love him now?"

Blaine stood there, speechless and Sebastian sat on the bed and dropped his head into his hands. His anger was gone as quickly as it came, replaced with insecurity, sadness, fear. "I don't know what to say, " Blaine said, feeling useless and lost as he watched the boy he loved, knowing he had caused him such pain.

"Neither do I," Sebastian said with a sigh. "I think we need to take a break." Blaine began to disagree, but Sebastian looked up at him and said, "Listen: I love you. I want to be with you. But I don't want to be with someone who's in love with someone else. Even if he loves me, too." Blaine nodded and it was his turn to look miserable. "So, I want you to take some time, as much as you need, and think about us. And think about Kurt. Would you do that for me?"

Sebastian looked so broken, that Blaine felt even worse as he looked into the beautiful boy's eyes, recognizing every flicker of despair and regret and hurt. "Of course I will. Anything for you." Sebastian smiled sadly and Blaine rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder. They sat like that for awhile and then, when Sebastian was ready, he placed a kiss on Blaine's cheek and was gone.


	4. My heart beats fast, My blood runs slow

Author's Note: Lyrics by Ali Ingle – go listen to Tornado! You won't regret it! :) Blaine and Kurt are most definitely not mine, but this universe is. This is the fourth part in a six-part conclusion to the Safe With Me trilogy…so you should read Safe with Me and Your Old Heart before this or it won't make any sense! Enjoy and review please!

**PART FOUR**

_**My heart beats fast**_

_**My blood runs slow**_

_**Like the aftermath of a tornado**_

* * *

The months continued to fly by faster than Quinn could understand, as time always seemed to when there were plans to be made and things to accomplish. The new year was upon them in no time, and with the wedding on the horizon, Quinn was drowning in floral arrangements and gown fittings, bachelorette party planning and cake tastings. Drew helped where he could, adding his opinion and offering foot massages, and Quinn relied more and more on Rachel and Kurt.

But, there were some things outside of all of their control. Quinn's father was refusing to come to the wedding, on some ridiculous protest of Drew's background and religion and "bad attitude." Blaine had confided in Drew and Quinn that he and Sebastian were on some weird break that no one really understood, which meant things would be weird for the other groomsmen, to be sure. Quinn had booked a florist, who had called to cancel just the previous week, and her caterer was hesitant to guarantee a vegan option (for Rachel's benefit), unsure what the next month would bring.

Quinn was overwhelmed, to be sure, but she was, more than anything, counting down the days. She was ready, so very ready, to start her life with Drew, to exchange vows and rings and promises, to change her name and to find an apartment together. It might turn out to be the worst, most disaster filled wedding of all time but, at the end of the day, it would be her and Drew, with the people they loved the most. Drama free or not, it was sure to be a party. And Quinn Fabray loved a good party.

* * *

Drew Cassidy remembered, with perfect clarity, the three times in his life he had fallen in love.

He had first given his heart to a beautiful, freckly and feisty brunette named Clare. They had met in school and, from the first time he laid eyes on her, he knew. There was something about her laugh and her smile and this strange quality he couldn't place - this fire she seemed to have inside her - that captured his heart. For a few wonderful weeks, he was sure the Clare was his soul mate - that they would be together forever, playing hopscotch until they had grey hair, exchanging sappy valentines and having adorable, spunky children - and then it all fell to pieces.

At recess, Clare broke the news: she had started dating another boy who was taller than Drew and funnier than Drew and was _way _better at hopscotch than Drew. Her one concession was that Drew wrote her far nicer notes, but she didn't really think that was important. So, at the ripe old age of nine, Drew fell in love for the first time and had his heart broken.

Seven years later, when he was a junior in high school, love struck Drew again; this time, in the form of a tall, guarded blonde named Lila. She barely gave Drew the time of day, choosing, instead, to date each and every one of his friends over the course of high school. She teased him mercilessly and scoffed at his attempts to woo her, with poetry and flowers and chocolates. She refused to talk to him in class, even though they sat side-by-side in no fewer than four classes. She was quite the enigma, and, of course, that made her all the more appealing. Drew fell and he fell hard, hoping everyday that Lila would look his way and smile, just once; that was all he wanted.

Finally, the day before graduation, Lila did more than smile at Drew. She smiled at him and walked toward him and kissed him, square on the lips and it was the best moment of Drew's young life. Apparently, she had loved Drew all along. So, they spent a wonderful summer together and, in August, said a tearful, heart-wrenching goodbye as she packed her bags for UC Syracuse and Drew for Northwestern. They promised to write and call and make it work, but they didn't. They couldn't. At the time, Drew was heartbroken, devastated, but looking back, he realized they never would have worked anyway. No, life had bigger plans for him. Because, five years later, he fell in love again.

Falling in love with Quinn scared Drew out of his mind. It was unlike anything he had every experienced and, the farther he fell, the happier he was that things had never worked out with Clare or with Lila. With Quinn, things were just simpler, better. He never had to put on an act, never had to try to be someone he wasn't. He was just Drew and she was just Quinn and, somehow, nothing else mattered. When Drew read Quinn his poem about her and leaned across the couch to kiss her for the first time, he knew, somewhere deep inside him, that it would be his last first kiss. That day set something in motion, something wonderful and hopeful and permanent: the rest of his life, with Quinn by his side.

* * *

Before they could say "going to the chapel," it was time for the wedding. Quinn and Drew gathered with the bridal party the night before the wedding for the rehearsal dinner at their favorite Italian restaurant in the city. Blaine sat next to Drew, distancing himself from Kurt, who was flanked by Rachel and Quinn, and Sebastian, who seemed to be chatting up one of the bridesmaids. Blaine didn't really know how to feel: with Kurt and Sebastian once again in the same room, he was more confused and conflicted than ever. He had spent time with both of them since Sebastian had asked for a break, and he felt things shifting, changing.

He and Kurt became more open, often finding excuses to touch, brushing hands as they split a croissant, wiping dirt from each others coats, Kurt finding a stray eyelash on Blaine's cheek. There were moments of significance, moments were Blaine was sure something was passing between them, as they locked eyes over coffee and sat, eye contact held for longer than was friendly, longer than what made sense.

When he was with Sebastian, though, things were similarly confusing. He had to resist the habit of kissing him hello or hugging him when he said something cute or placing a kiss on his cheek when he passed him on his way to the kitchen. And now, with them all sitting around the same table, Blaine thought he would lose his mind.

Drew did his best to distract Blaine, introducing him to Rachel's old high school choir director, who, Drew explained, would be officiating the ceremony. Drew entertained Blaine with as many jokes as he could and described, in more detail than anyone cared to know, his romantic plans for the honeymoon.

On the other side of the table, Kurt had to resist the urge to look over at Blaine again, worried about him. Was it Kurt's imagination, or did Blaine look off? Upset or stressed or something? Kurt had tried to give Blaine a warm smile hello, but found that Blaine seemed too distracted to notice. Kurt was worried, and couldn't help but wonder why Blaine wasn't sitting next to Sebastian, why Sebastian, too was shooting Blaine worried looks. He attempted to distract himself with Rachel and Quinn, with wedding details and news from Rachel's latest round of auditions, with speculations about how Finn would act around Rachel the next day and questions about Quinn's honeymoon.

Sebastian sat, trying to figure out how to hint to Quinn's flirty friend from college that he was very much gay and so not interested, sneaking glances at Blaine. The last few weeks had been weird, to be sure. Ever since he had asked Blaine to take time to think, to put their relationship on a break, there was a tension between them, an understandable feeling of uncertainty. They didn't talk about it, as if hoping ignoring it would make it go away, and acted as friends, or something similar. Sebastian missed Blaine. He missed flirting with him and touching him, kissing him and spending the night with him. He contemplated breaking it off for good, finding some other source to fill the spot Blaine left in his life, but he knew it wouldn't be the same. He would take what he could get with Blaine, knowing that anything less, _anyone_ less, than Blaine wouldn't be good enough.

As all three boys sat, trying to avoid thoughts of love and lust and conflict, they eventually found themselves caught up in the excitement of the dinner, the promise of a wedding the next day and the fun it would bring. They laughed and toasted the bride and groom, they shared stories of Drew and Quinn and smiled, happy imagining their friends getting married, spending their lives together. They wondered what the next day would hold for them, and the days after that. As Drew and Quinn began their lives together, what would happen to Kurt and Blaine and Sebastian? They were excited, to be sure, but each equally scared, apprehensive, reluctant to hope for the best.

Desserts were finished and bills paid, the last toasts made and classes clinked. The three boys went their separate ways, all exchanging equally confusing, stiff goodbyes. The wedding loomed on the horizon and neither Blaine nor Sebastian nor Kurt found it easy to fall asleep that night. Maybe it was pre-wedding jitters, excitement for their friends, but they doubted it. Something big was on the horizon for Quinn and Drew, and, they suspected, for the three of them, too.

* * *

"How do I look?" Quinn stepped out of the bathroom and twirled around, grinning from ear to ear. When she stopped twirling and faced her best friends, Kurt burst into applause and Rachel burst into tears. The other bridesmaids eyed them both warily, unsure whether they should follow Kurt's suit and clap, or Rachel's and sob. Quinn went to Rachel's side, concern on her face, "That bad, huh?" She asked, hoping to put a smile on her friend's face.

"You look..." Rachel hiccupped and smiled through her tears, "so beautiful." Quinn and Kurt laughed, rolling their eyes at the friend and the other bridesmaids, two of Quinn's friends from college and a distant cousin, looked on, clearly confused by Rachel. Once Rachel's tears had stopped, the bridesmaids and Kurt worked together to tie a perfect bow around Quinn's dress. They put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup, kissed her on the cheek with best wishes, gushed to her about what a perfect wedding it would be.

One by one, they trickled out, until Quinn was left with Rachel, her maid of honor, and Kurt, her personal attendant, her two best friends in the world. The three of them stood in a circle, holding hands and trying not to cry.

"You're really doing it," Kurt said, lips curling into a smile. "These are your last moments as a single girl. As one of us," he smirked and Quinn and Rachel laughed. "If it were anyone but Drew, I'd tell you not to do it. But he's wonderful, Quinn. You two are going to be so happy." Quinn smacked Kurt on the arm and tried to wipe at her eyes without ruining her makeup.

She huffed and said, "Well, thanks for making me cry. If you ruin my makeup I'll never forgive you." Kurt wiped tears from his eyes and Rachel did, too, following suit.

"You are going to be the most beautiful bride," she said, smiling at Quinn through her tears, "and nothing will make be prouder than to stand up there next to you." Quinn started to cry again and she hugged Rachel, waving for Kurt to hug her from the other side.

The day marked a big change for the trio; it was their first wedding, the first time one of them changed their life in such a permanent way. They knew things would never be the same and yet, as they stood in a group hug, crying in spite of Quinn's makeup woes, they weren't afraid of the change; they welcomed it. They were growing up and falling in love and getting hurt, as they always knew they would; and they were doing it all together. When it came down to it, that was the most important thing of all: through thick and through thin, Rachel and Kurt and Quinn were a family, and nothing, no husbands or fights or distance, would change that.

* * *

Is it really possible to love two people at once? To be _in love_ with two people at the same time? Is it, instead, more plausible to love two people, but in different ways?

Blaine couldn't help but wonder how he could love Sebastian, be loved by Sebastian, and yet still think of a future with Kurt. He didn't understand his heart or his head, or what either of them wanted.

How can you forgive the past, forget it? How can you move on when old feelings of hurt and betrayal still linger? When old feelings of love still remain? How can you hope to move forward when the past still haunts your thoughts and dreams?

Kurt wanted to move forward, to accept that Blaine was happy with Sebastian and move on. The only problem was, he didn't know how. And, Blaine, too, wanted to move forward. He wanted to make Sebastian happy, to do what he had promised when he became his boyfriend: to love him and support him. Whenever he and Kurt got coffee or watched movies or did anything as friends, he remembered what had happened the last time, when he and Kurt had tried to be friends before. He remembered the devastation and heart-wrenching pain he had felt. And yet, he remembered the good, too. The love and the kissing and the feeling of total rightness.

And how, when confronted with a choice between your past and your present, between loyalty and fate, between what is right and what feels right, do you decide? When there is no easy answer, no perfect solution that prevents pain and heartbreak and loss for everyone involved, what can you possibly do? Even in the face of morals and promises and loyalty, can you ever really avoid what is meant to be?

Did it make it better, Blaine wondered, if Kurt was his soul mate? Did that make it okay? Were they just being stubborn and obtuse, staying apart when, it seemed, the universe kept throwing them together? And what about Sebastian? Blaine barely knew which way was up. Nothing made sense anymore. He loved Sebastian, that much he knew. But, with every passing day, he worried that that love would never measure up, would never compare to the love he had felt for Kurt; the love that he felt returning more and more, creeping up on him, threatening to overtake his heart.

How many people do you have to hurt before you get it right?

How long can you prolong the inevitable?

* * *

"It our turn," Rachel said, leading Blaine toward the doorway.

He had been looking out the window, watching the snow fall, thinking about love and marriage and Sebastian and Kurt. Sebastian had entered the chapel a minute earlier, escorting one of Quinn's cousin's. He had looked, as expected, quite dashing in his suit and tie and the sight of his sad smile was still burned into Blaine's eyelids.

As he and Rachel reached the door and stood, waiting for their cue, she turned to him with a smile and straightened his tie. "Perfect," she said, her eyes bright and slightly teary as she looked up at Blaine. She looped her hand through his elbow and gave him a quick squeeze and they entered the chapel. As they walked down the aisle, Blaine took a minute to appreciate the beautiful room: its huge windows, sun streaming in, the countless tulips, white and light blue, covering the room. The guests all sat facing forward, occasionally looking back to watch as they made their way toward the front of the church. Blaine recognized some of Drew's relatives and their friends from college. As he neared the front of the church, where Quinn's high school choir director stood, beaming, he looked over at Sebastian and smiled, his stomach lurching in response as Sebastianreturned the smile. Blaine kissed Rachel on the cheek as they reached the end of the aisle, turning in opposite directions and he turned to his best friend, who looked equally nervous and thrilled.

"Hey," Drew whispered, smile on his lips, "I'm getting married." Blaine stifled a chuckle and nodded, patting Drew on the back.

The music changed and the congregation stood, more people looking back now to catch sight of the bride. The two adorable flower girls reached the end of the aisle as Quinn walked into the room, and Blaine couldn't help but gasp: she was stunning. Her hair was done up in a beautiful up do, small, white flowers decorating her hair. Her dress was simple, strapless and long. Her face, however, was the most beautiful, eyes bright and happy, a small smile on her lips. Blaine looked to Drew, about to make some comment about Quinn, but he stopped as he saw the look of complete and utter adoration on his best friend's face.

Drew's smile grew as Quinn came closer and closer and, when her dad gave her a gentle hug and let her go, Blaine could see tears in the eyes of the bride and the groom. Blaine couldn't help but seek out a pair of blue eyes, smiling sweetly at Kurt who stood in the second pew. He was surrounded by a motley crew that, Blaine knew, represented their old high school glee club. As Kurt smiled back at him, his heart began to race and he couldn't help but imagine a day when, surrounded by their loved ones, he and Kurt promised their lives to each other. He broke the eye contact and turned to face the bride and groom, shaking his head slightly, trying to clear his head of all Kurt-related thoughts. It wasn't appropriate to be imagining his and Kurt's wedding, not when they weren't even dating, not when his boyfriend or ex-boyfriend or whatever was ten feet away. He turned to Sebastian, to smile at him again, but found that his head was down, face obscured.

The ceremony began and Blaine was swept up on the romance of it all: this was the stuff of his dreams. He watched as his best friend married his true love and Blaine felt tears of joy and of confusion fall from his eyes. If only it were that simple for him. If only he, like Drew and Quinn, knew who he would wake up to every morning and fall asleep to every night, till death do them part.

* * *

_**And the feelings pass, but I still shake though**_

_**That's why**_

_**I could never let you go**_

* * *

Sebastian Smythe wasn't a bad guy. He wasn't evil or self-centered or cruel. Maybe he used to be. Okay, he_ definitely _used to be. But who doesn't have skeletons in their closet? Who isn't glad to have grown up? He had changed, really he had. And he was proud of the guy he had become. But sometimes, sometimes when he thought about Kurt Hummel in particular, he didn't feel very much like a good guy either.

He stood, Drew's cousin on one side and his high school friend on the other and watched as Drew and Quinn exchanged vows. He watched as Blaine watched Kurt, smiling at him, both boys' eyes full of tears. He watched as they both blushed from the prolonged eye contact, pretended to return their focus to the ceremony. He watched as they continued to sneak glances at one another, matching smiles on their faces.

Sebastian wished he had Blaine's conviction, confidence in fate and destiny, in some grand design that would guide them to where they ought to be. Whenever he had bad day, Blaine would take his hand and squeeze it, telling him that everything would work itself out, if only Sebastian gave it time. Blaine believed in all the same things as kindergarteners: magic and fairytales, true love and destiny. As much as Sebastian tried, though, he couldn't believe.

His parents had seemed like soul mates, a perfect match, until they weren't and they were divorced and were the farthest thing from soul mates that he could imagine. He found that life had a way of screwing with him: letting him get just happy enough and then taking it all away. So how, then, could he believe in fate? How could he have faith when he was constantly given reasons not to?

As he stood, watching Blaine watch Kurt, he wondered if Blaine was right. If true love existed, then who was Blaine's true love? With whom was Blaine fated to be? Sebastian knew the answer he would like to believe, but he feared for the worst.

If Blaine was right, if there was some grand design, it seemed that Blaine was meant to be with the tall, blue-eyed boy from Ohio, the first boy who had ever broken his heart. Sebastian felt tears in his eyes and he wasn't sure why: was he moved by the ceremony? By the thoughts of true love? He was afraid not. He suspected his tears came from the thought of losing Blaine, of letting him go. As he discreetly wiped at his eyes, he realized what he had to do. And the tears kept coming.

* * *

Quinn wanted the bridal party to join her on the dance floor, so Sebastian and Blaine found themselves slow dancing, neither quite sure what to say. They had left things on vague terms: Sebastian telling Blaine to take the time he needed, to think about what they had, to think about Kurt. In the weeks that had passed, they had spent some time together, but neither wanted to complicate things, neither was sure what it all meant. So, as they held onto each other and swung around the dance floor, it was probably the first physical contact they had had in a while, certainly the most intimate.

A few songs passed and they decided to get some water, both feeling oddly nervous, and Sebastian feeling quite contemplative. Freshly watered, Blaine asked Sebastian to return to the dance floor with him, this time, out of choice, not obligation and he agreed. But, as Blaine held Sebastian and they spun and dipped and spun some more, Sebastian could feel Kurt's eyes on them from across the room. Kurt had danced the obligatory dances with the bridal party but had retired to his seat as soon as he could. He was currently gesturing wildly while talking to Rachel, glancing over at Sebastian and Blaine every few seconds. It was unnerving, the feeling of being watched, being on display. Sebastian felt odd, off, like he was filling a role or playing a part. He turned to ask Blaine if they could take a walk, and noticed that Blaine's eyes were locked on Kurt, barely paying any attention to the boy with whom he was dancing.

Irritated, Sebastian stopped moving and dropped Blaine's arms. Blaine looked at Sebastian, finally looking away, with a confused expression and Sebastian made an irritated noise. "If he's the one you want to dance with, then dance with him." Blaine had the decency to blush and Sebastian turned and walked off, leaving Blaine alone on the dance floor.

Sebastian went to the bar to get a drink and, minutes later, Quinn sat down next to him. "Penny for your thoughts?"

He chuckled halfheartedly and frowned into his drink. "Everything has been really lovely, Quinn," he said, as sincerely as he could muster.

With one look at his facial expression, Quinn laughed, "Then why do you look so miserable?"

Sebastian met her watchful gaze with a grimace, "I look miserable?" She nodded and he groaned, "Perfect." Quinn reached up a hand to pat him on the back and he said, "It's Blaine." Sebastian heaved a heavy sigh and asked, "Was there ever a chance that he'd love me the way he loves Kurt? Was that stupid to hope for?" Quinn rubbed his back and smiled a sad smile at him.

"Ah, so you've realized then?" She asked, a somber expression on her beautiful face. He nodded sadly and she continued, "I thought about telling you, even tried a few times, but you never would have believed me."

He nodded his agreement, "You're right. I was so sure we could make it work."

Quinn frowned slightly and met Sebastian's sad eyes with her concerned ones, "Have you talked to him?" When Sebastian shook his head she nodded, "You should. Sitting and sulking will only make it worse; and that's coming from an expert at sitting and sulking and avoiding conversation." Sebastian laughed a genuine laugh at that an Quinn smiled at him. "For what it's worth, I wanted you two to work. But..." she trailed off, giving him a sad look and went on, "I don't know that you ever could have. And that makes me sorrier than you will ever know."

Sebastian nodded, too drained to respond and stood to embrace Quinn, expressing his thanks. He held on for what was probably longer than appropriate, but Quinn didn't seem to mind. "You'll be okay," she said, smiling up at him. "You'll see. Some day soon, you're going to fall in love again, with the most wonderful guy; and when you do, you'll never have to wonder, never to ask yourself if it's real or forever or right. I just know it." Sebastian smiled in disbelief and Quinn gave him a kiss on the cheek and returned to her husband.

Sebastian sat thinking for a bit, hoping against hope that Quinn was right, wishing that the wonderful guy could have been Blaine.

* * *

With Sebastian nowhere to be found, Blaine chatted with the happy couple, talked to some old college friends and let Rachel tease him mercilessly for his cheesy dance moves. After a while, Drew and Quinn returned to the dance floor, love in their eyes, and his college friends went to the bar and Rachel got distracted talking to her friends from glee club. Blaine wandered the room, smiling at Drew's relatives, wondering where Sebastian had gone, why he had been so angry out of the blue.

As he neared the table of desserts, he saw Kurt, standing alone by the punch bowl, watching wistfully as Drew dipped Quinn on the dance floor and gave her a kiss. Blaine watched as Kurt clapped, along with other guests, and a smile graced his features. Kurt turned his way and saw Blaine looking, so he stepped forward to join Kurt at the punch bowl.

"Great party!" Kurt said, eyes twinkling, and Blaine nodded his agreement. "They're going to be so happy together," he added, smiling into the punch as he poured himself a glass. Blaine nodded again, watching as Kurt took a sip of the punch and smiled at the taste.

"I want that," Blaine said, suddenly.

Kurt glanced up, brow furrowed. "The punch?" he asked.

Laughing, Blaine shook his head, "No, the happiness, the marriage, the 'till death do us part.'" Kurt's confusion turned to a smile, with what Blaine thought looked like a bit of sadness, as he nodded.

"Don't we all?" he asked, looking at Blaine with wide eyes and Blaine was lost for words. They stood, eyes locked, not speaking or moving, completely unaware of the world around them.

"Well, doesn't this look like fun?" A glum voice broke their trance and both Kurt and Blaine blushed, turning to look at Sebastian who stood, arms crossed, on the other side of the table.

"How are you, Sebastian?" Kurt asked, ignoring Sebastian's foul mood.

Sebastian eyed Kurt and glanced at Blaine suspiciously. "Oh, you know..." he said, trailing off, expression somber. Blaine sent Sebastian a concerned glance and Kurt took the tension as he cue to leave, wandering back to the dance floor.

"I was trying to find you," Blaine said, reaching to touch Sebastian's arm. "I wanted to talk, you seemed so upset when we were dancing." Blaine looked up into Sebastian's face but found it was unreadable. "Do you want to find someplace to talk? We could get some air," Blaine suggested, and Sebastian nodded. Blaine steered Sebastian away from the crowd, toward doors that lead to an empty lawn. Outside, they found frosty trees and a snowy bench and a view of the night sky; a place where they could be alone, have privacy.

"So, how was Kurt?" Sebastian asked once they stepped outside. Blaine shot him a look, and Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Not what you wanted to talk about?" Blaine frowned, his eyes worried and Sebastian sighed deeply. "I can't do this anymore," he started. "It's just too hard. I thought I could, but..." he trailed off and looked at Blaine with sad eyes.

"But what?" Blaine prompted, looking up at Sebastian.

"But I realized," he said slowly, as if every word was a hardship. "I realized it's not possible. You can't love us both, Blaine. Not the same way," he said, pain etched on his face and Blaine's face fell. "You either love him more, or you love me more." He looked to Blaine, as if waiting for him to disagree. When Blaine didn't respond, Sebastian continued, "I thought I could wait, I thought I could be patient and give you space. But I can't. I can't do this anymore, Blaine. It's either him or me." Sebastian sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "During the wedding..." he started, face full of sadness and pain and a bit of anger, "I watched you. I couldn't help it. With the romance and eternity and love talk, all I wanted to do was look at you and have you look at me and know: know that you felt it too. But you were looking at him." He began to pace back and forth, seeming to ignore the snow falling from the sky and the tears falling from Blaine's eyes. "When you think about spending forever with someone, marrying someone, do you think of him or me?"

Sebastian stopped pacing to look Blaine square in the eyes, tears streaking both boy's faces. Blaine made a pained expression, begging, "Sebastian, please. Don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything." Sebastian said sadly, wiping at his eyes. "I'm just asking you a simple question."

Blaine stepped toward him and placed his hands on Sebastian's shoulders, "I don't love him the way I love you, I don't." His pleading eyes met Sebastian's and he begged, with his hands and his heart, for Sebastian to believe him.

After a few moments, Sebastian nodded, "I know you don't." Blaine's plea began to fade from his eyes as Sebastian whispered, "You love him more." Blaine began to interrupt but Sebastian cut him off, "I think I've known it for a while, I just hoped it wasn't true. You never stopped loving him. And I never stood a chance against what you two have." Lost for words, Blaine stood, dumbfounded as Sebastian went on, "I'm going to go. Tell Quinn and Drew...tell them congratulations; tell them I couldn't stay." Sebastian smiled at Blaine and reached up a hand to wipe a tear off of Blaine's face.

"I'm sorry," Blaine said softly, leaning against Sebastian's hand. "I wish I could..." he trailed off and heaved a ragged, wet sigh. "I do love you. So very much."

Sebastian smiled and nodded, pulling Blaine in for one last hug. "I know," he whispered. "But it would have never been enough." He pulled back to look Blaine in the eye as he said, "And that's not your fault."

They stood, holding each other, crying, as the snow fell around them. A few minutes passed and Sebastian said goodbye, kissing Blaine one last time for good measure. Blaine sat on the bench, either not noticing or not caring as the snow continued to fall, as the winter air wrapped around him, freezing him to the bone.

* * *

Kurt and Blaine found themselves, as they often did, in the practice room after class. Blaine sat at the piano, attempting to figure out some melody Kurt didn't recognize and Kurt lay on the ground, listening to Blaine play and attempting to study for an upcoming exam. Eventually, he gave up and watched Blaine, his long fingers stretching to reach all the keys, his brow furrowed in concentration.

Kurt couldn't help but smile at Blaine's frustration and stood up, asking, "Do you think you should take a break?"

Blaine sighed and nodded, dropping his hands from the keys and turned to face Kurt.

"You're really adorable when you're annoyed, you know that?" Kurt asked, before he thought better of it, and Blaine blushed in response. Blaine joined Kurt on the floor and began to study. He started to hum, absentmindedly, and Kurt hummed along with him. Blaine looked up to meet Kurt's smiling eyes and blushed again.

An hour passed and Kurt stood up to stretch, needing a break from the floor. "Do you think..." he started, his voice startling Blaine, who had nearly fallen asleep over his Economics textbook.

"Huh, what? What?" Blaine said, shaking himself a bit.

Kurt laughed and his voice was shy and soft as he said, "I was wondering if you'd sing with me." Blaine's eyes widened and Kurt hurried to say, "If you don't want to-"

"No," Blaine said quickly, cutting him off. "I want to."

"Oh-Okay," Kurt stammered, smiling at Blaine. "I need to practice a duet and I'm fine when I sing it alone, but when I go to sing it with my partner in class, I freeze." Blaine nodded his understanding and Kurt went on, "So, I thought you could help me."

"Of course!" Blaine said eagerly, his smile growing. Kurt grabbed the sheet music from his bag and placed it the piano, gesturing for Blaine to sit down with him. Kurt began to play and Blaine sneaked a glance at his concentrated expression, his cute frown. When Kurt began to sing, Blaine nearly forgot to watch the music, forgot that he, too, would be singing. Kurt's voice was, as always, magical. Blaine read along in the song - something pretty and Latin - and, when the time came, Blaine joined Kurt in song.

The sound of their voices together was breathtaking; Blaine could barely concentrate, could hardly remember who or where he was; all he knew was his voice and Kurt's, that moment and those words and that song. Blaine stumbled here and there, no expert in sight-reading, but by the end, he had picked up most of it. As they cut off and Kurt played the coda, Blaine sat, preoccupied with thoughts of all the songs they could sing together, all the harmonies that would sound so perfect coming from him and Kurt. Kurt played the last notes and turned to Blaine, grinning. "Well, I'd say that was pretty great," he said happily.

Blaine laughed and nodded, "And you said you couldn't do the harmonies." He playfully shoved Kurt and Kurt blushed, shoving him back.

They finished their studying and packed up their things, stalling as much as they could, before exiting to their separate dorms, separate rooms, separate lives. Blaine had to resist the temptation to skip to his room, so giddy from the singing, the sound of their voices together, in perfect harmony. Some voices flowed together, fit together, better than others, Blaine knew. It was a matter of tone and quality and timbre. It wasn't something that could be learned or taught, it just was or it wasn't; and there was no doubt in Blaine's mind that his and Kurt's voices were perfect for each other. He couldn't help but wonder if that was a coincidence.

As Kurt made his way home, he smiled to himself. Was it fair of him to make Blaine sing with him, under the pretense of helping Kurt, when he didn't need help at all? When, that past week, his professor had complimented him on his harmony, his ability to hit every note? Kurt had to admit that he didn't care. He had been wondering how Blaine's voice would sound with his own, and so he decided to find out. Last time he checked, that wasn't a terrible thing to do; not when Blaine loved to sing, and had clearly enjoyed himself. No, Kurt was pleased with himself and unashamed. And, he had answered his question: together, their voices sounded as beautiful as anything Kurt had ever heard. He began to think of more excuses for them to sing together again and couldn't keep the smile from his face.

* * *

"You're my _wife_," Drew whispered in Quinn's ear, voice filled with glee as he spun her around on the dance floor. She laughed quietly and Drew smiled.

"You're my _husband_," she replied, leaning back so their excited eyes could meet. They grinned at each other and laughed, and Quinn leaned back into Drew's arms.

Quinn looked over Drew's shoulder to watch the other couples on the dance floor. Drew's parents were dancing, peaceful smiles on their faces, along with several other couples. The music was wonderful and the food had been divine and, at the last possible moment, her dad had arrived to walk her down the aisle; everything, it seemed, had turned out perfectly.

"I kept waiting for something to go wrong," Quinn said honestly and Drew made a questioning noise so she went on. "I just kept thinking that there's no way I should get to be this happy. There has to be a catch."

Drew chuckled and said, "No catch, my dear. Just happily ever after."

Quinn smiled and nodded, pressing her cheek into Drew's shoulder. She watched as Finn went up to Rachel, who was sitting with Kurt at the head table, and offered her his hand for a dance. Quinn couldn't help but smile as Rachel nodded eagerly and she and Finn went toward the dance floor. She looked around the room and wondered after Blaine and Sebastian, who had seemingly disappeared, and figured they were probably talking somewhere. That would be best, she thought. Convinced that her friends were happy, she rested her head on Drew's shoulder and whispered, "I love you, husband."

He pulled her in closer and said, smile clear in his voice, "I love you, wife."

* * *

_**I, oh, I could never let you go**_

* * *

"There you are!" Kurt exclaimed, stepping out into the snow, pulling his jacket tighter around his shoulders as he made his way to sit on the bench with Blaine. "I was looking for you inside," he said, smiling at Blaine, who merely nodded in response.

"I'm here," he said, voice soft and hollow.

Kurt laughed lightly and said, "Well good. Because, I wanted to talk to you about something..." he trailed off as he looked at Blaine, eyes empty as he looked out at the snow. "Are you okay? You seem off." Blaine shrugged and Kurt reached up a hand to touch Blaine's shoulder. At the contact, Blaine winced and scooted farther from Kurt, separating them. "What's going on?" Kurt asked, eyebrows raised in confusion and worry.

Blaine sighed, "Nothing. Nothing's going on."

Kurt scoffed, "You're a bad liar, Blaine. Always have been." Kurt smiled, teasing, but Blaine merely looked at him and then looked away, turning his gaze back to the snow. "You're scaring me, Blaine," Kurt said softly, eyes filling with concern. "You're not yourself."

"Maybe you should just go inside, Kurt," Blaine said sadly, eyes still focused on the falling flakes.

"Maybe I should just-" Kurt repeated. "Seriously?" He asked, irritated at Blaine's refusal to talk to him. "You want me to leave you out here in the cold looking like your puppy just died-?"

"Just go, Kurt." Blaine's voice was louder this time, less sad and more harsh. His eyes met Kurt's and Kurt shook his head. "You should just go inside," he repeated, irritation flashing in his eyes.

"No!" Kurt said, raising his voice to match Blaine's. "Not until you talk to me. Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"What's wrong?" Blaine said, mockingly, voice even louder. "You've got to be kidding." Kurt gave him a confused look and he went on in a bitter voice. "I am so bloody tired," Kurt's eyebrows raised as Blaine said, "tired of getting hurt and feeling like crap and messing things up."

"Blaine," Kurt started, putting his hand on Blaine's shoulder again, eyes shining with concern.

"STOP!" Blaine yelled, jumping to his feet, turning to face Kurt. "Don't you get it?" he cried, eyes angry. "It's you. It's loving you that's screwing with my entire life." Kurt inhaled sharply and his eyes widened as he began to shake his head.

"Don't say tha-"

"But it's true!" Blaine interrupted. "And you sit there, happy as can be, like usual. Totally oblivious." Blaine scoffed and went on, voice harsh and loud, "You have no idea, _no idea_, what I went through. I sat and watched as you and Erik paraded around, never once thinking about how it might hurt me. You knew! You both knew how I felt and you didn't stop." Blaine turned around and took a few steps, running his hands through his hair and breathing heavily. "I loved you so much," he said softly. He turned to face Kurt again, face full of anger and pain. "You have no idea what you put me through."

"Blaine, I thi-" Kurt started, but Blaine interjected again.

"Don't you get it? I'm sick of being hurt by you. I'm sick of watching you feel nothing while I fall apart!" Blaine shouted, voice louder than ever, hands jerking to his face to wipe away angry tears.

"Oh, please!" Kurt cried, standing up to face Blaine, face filling with pain to match his. "You think it's easy for me?" Kurt laughed harshly and shook his head, "You think it's a walk in the park to watch you with him?! God, Blaine, I know I hurt you, but do you really think you're innocent in this whole thing?" Blaine scoffed and started to speak, but Kurt just raised his voice over him. "You told me you would love me forever, do you remember that?" Blaine grew quiet and still, watching Kurt with wide, angry eyes. "I guess forever isn't a very long time, is it?"

Kurt looked at Blaine, as if daring him to respond, to disagree, but they both knew that Kurt was right. They both remembered everything Blaine had ever said to him. Kurt took a breath and said, "It breaks my heart every single day to see you two together." Kurt's voice grew louder as he continued, "I go home and I cry and I'm _miserable _because it hurts when I'm with you and it hurts when I'm not. Trust me," he said, eyes shining with tears and anger and frustration. "I know exactly how it feels to sit by and watch as the boy you lo-"

"Don't you dare," Blaine hissed, voice obscuring Kurt's. "Don't you dare say you love me." Blaine shook his head slowly, "Not like this."

Kurt stood, hands balled up into fists, breathing heavily and watched as snowflakes fell all around them. _How did we let this happen?_ he wondered.

Kurt lowered his gaze to meet Blaine's eyes and he saw a flash of something, something he didn't understand before Blaine said, "I can't be your friend anymore. It hurts too much."

Kurt's eyes widened, and he took a step toward Blaine. He raised his voice and spit back, "Fine. You were a lousy friend anyway."

Blaine scowled and took a step toward Kurt, their eyes meeting. They held eye contact and Kurt saw as the anger in Blaine's eyes faded, turning into something else. Before he had time to realize what it was, Blaine stepped forward, closing the space between them. Blaine's lips were on Kurt's and his fingers tangled in Kurt's hair and Kurt reached up to cup Blaine's face in his hands. It was messy as their teeth collided and their tongues battled for control. It wasn't like any kiss either of them had every had: it was angry and rough and desperate. Kurt moaned against Blaine and Blaine leaned back to kiss a trail down Kurt's neck and then, as abruptly as they had started, Blaine stopped. He stepped back, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"I can't..." he trailed off and hurt flashed in his eyes. "I have to go," he said, and he turned from Kurt and walked away, as quickly as he could.

Kurt stood, frozen in place, fingers touching the lips that had just been tangled with Blaine's, not knowing what to think or what to feel or what to do next.


	5. Where love remains I fought you

Author's Note: Lyrics by Ali Ingle – go listen to Tornado! You won't regret it! :) Blaine and Kurt are still not mine, but this universe is. This is the fifth part in a six-part conclusion to the Safe With Me trilogy…so you should read Safe with Me and Your Old Heart before this or it won't make any sense! Enjoy and review please!

**PART FIVE**

**_Where people've changed, I've stayed true_**

**_Where love remains, I fought you_**

**_Where young love lies through fickle sheets_**

**_But I've cut all ties _**

**_With those memories_**

**_Before_**

* * *

Sebastian didn't remember the last time he felt so nervous, so unprepared in front of Blaine. He found that he didn't know what to say or how to act. Should he tell him straight away? Should he lead up to it with an apology, a peace offering, a sign of forgiveness? Blaine took off his coat and hung it on the rack by the door and Sebastian went to take the tea kettle off the stove. Blaine followed, hesitantly, neither boy sure where to begin.

Sebastian had called Blaine a few days before and invited him to get together and talk; and while Blaine was surprised to hear from Sebastian, they both knew they had much to discuss. It had been three weeks since the wedding and they hadn't exchanged so much as a text or a phone call, they hadn't passed each other on the street or run into each other at their favorite coffee shop (probably because they were both avoiding it, fearing such an encounter). It was the longest they had gone without speaking in a while, maybe even since before they met. Blaine found his fingers itching to text Sebastian when he passed a dog dressed in human clothes, Sebastian's pet peeve, or when he went to their favorite deli and they were out of olive bread, Sebastian's favorite. Blaine had resisted the temptation, though, knowing that Sebastian would talk to him if he wanted to, would reach out when he was ready, if that day ever came. So, when Blaine returned home to see the light blinking on his answering machine and heard Sebastian's voice, crackly and familiar through the speaker, he was surprised and relieved. The wedding had been lovely, sure, but his interaction with Sebastian - and with Kurt - had left Blaine feeling nauseous, guilty and unsure. He needed to talk to Sebastian, needed to see him and apologize and hope that Sebastian could forgive him.

It had also been three weeks since Blaine and Kurt had spoken, which was just as rare an occasion. Since Kurt's move to the city, and their new attempt at friendship, Blaine and Kurt had talked to each other in some way almost every day. They were constantly in and out of each other's apartments, texting and talking on the phone; Blaine had seen Kurt almost as much as he had seen Sebastian, so the loss of contact left an equally gaping hole in his life. In a way, though, Blaine was calmed by the lack of communication. He was haunted by his memory of Kurt, cheeks pink and eyes angry, yelling at him in the moonlight as the snow fell around them; of Kurt's piercing words and furious mood, of the things he had said and the way he had said them. And, of course, he was haunted by that kiss. Blaine was so confused, so drained and exhausted, that he knew speaking to Kurt would only confuse him more. Things were unsettled with Sebastian and that was a more pressing issue, Blaine realized. If he could right that wrong, fix whatever he had done with Sebastian, maybe then he would know how to handle the Kurt situation. Maybe then the knot in his stomach would go away.

Blaine broke the silence first, as Sebastian poured hot water into two mugs and moved to join Blaine at the table. "I owe you an apology," Blaine started, "for everything. I..." he trailed off, sighing heavily and Sebastian have him a small, encouraging nod. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, how much I wish..." he stopped again, and ran a hand through his hair.

Sebastian took advantage of Blaine's pause and reached across the table to grab his hand, "You don't need to say it Blaine." He smiled again at the stressed boy across from him and said, "I forgive you, for everything, because you really have nothing to be sorry for." Blaine shook his head, ready to protest, but Sebastian held up a hand, "Really, you don't. Or at least, if you do, than I do, too. So, I'm sorry, Blaine. I'm just as sorry as you." Blaine looked down into his mug of tea glumly and Sebastian squeezed his hand and then dropped it to take a sip of his tea. "How are you? I haven't seen you since...well," Sebastian smirked, rolling his eyes and Blaine laughed, the sound reassuring and so very normal.

Blaine looked up and hesitated before replying, "I'm okay. I've been doing a lot of thinking and moping and sitting around." Sebastian nodded, understanding the feeling perfectly. "I think I'm leaving actually," Blaine said and Sebastian's eyes widened. "I'm going to Evanston, to visit Erik and some other friends. I think I just need to get away from it all, clear my head." Sebastian nodded and Blaine took a sip of his tea before continuing, "It doesn't make much sense but," he raised his eyebrows, meeting Sebastian's gaze, "do you ever feel claustrophobic here?" Sebastian didn't respond so Blaine looked down, "I guess it's stupid to feel boxed in in such a big city..." he trailed off and Sebastian shook his head.

"It's not stupid. It makes perfect sense actually." Blaine looked up, curious as Sebastian went on, "There's nowhere to breath, to think, to just _be_. It's suffocating sometimes." Sebastian took a sip of his tea and Blaine laughed.

"I'd offer that you could come with me, but..." he paused to look at Sebastian's questioning face and they both laughed, a bit forced and Blaine shook his head. "I don't get it." Sebastian raised his eyebrows in question and Blaine explained, "I don't understand why you're being so nice to me. You should hate me!" Blaine's eyes looked a bit crazed and Sebastian frowned at him, "You should yell at me and tell me I'm a horrible person."

Sebastian rolled his eyes and gave Blaine a look, "But you're _not_ a horrible person." Blaine looked down and Sebastian pressed on, "You did your best, we _both_ did. We tried to make it work, we did. Believe me, there were days when I _wanted _to hate you, to yell at you. I wished I could believe that you were a horrible person, that you'd hurt me on purpose, but I couldn't. I knew it wasn't true. It took me a while to realize, but when I did, I just knew it was true:" Sebastian took a breath and met Blaine's eyes as he said, "You just can't fight fate."

Blaine choked on his tea and raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Fate? You, Sebastian Smythe believe in fate?" Sebastian shrugged and Blaine chortled, "Somewhere pigs are flying!"

"I guess I'm starting to be convinced," Sebastian said with another shrug. "Regardless of that, though, I _do_ know that you don't choose who you fall in love with. You didn't choose Kurt and he didn't choose you. It just happens. So, no, I don't hate you and I'm not going to yell at you, because it's not your fault. I can't blame you, Blaine, and you shouldn't blame yourself," Sebastian gave Blaine a look to emphasize, to convince him, "or Kurt or anyone or anything. Unless," he said with a smirk, "you want to blame fate."

Blaine leaned back in his chair, a small smile forming on his lips. "Well, I'll be. I never thought you'd be sitting across from me, telling me that destiny was responsible for my problems."

"I suppose we all have to grow up at some point," Sebastian said with a grin. He cleared his throat and leaned in, eyes growing more serious as he said, "But there's a reason I asked you to come here." Blaine sat up straighter, curious and nodded for Sebastian to continue. "I want you to know, I give you my blessing." Blaine's eyebrows shot up as Sebastian added, "I want you to be happy, and I think Kurt's your best chance at that." Sebastian smiled at Blaine, the boy he loved, with sweetness and sincerity and a bit of pain as he said, "So be with him, Blaine. Let yourself love him again." Blaine looked down as Sebastian finished, "Or I think you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

* * *

Anyone who called Blaine a friend, who really knew him, was sure to know several things about him. He was a recovering hair-gel addict and he collected bow ties. He couldn't whistle, no matter how hard he tried, but he _could_ touch his tongue to his nose and say the alphabet backwards in a matter of seconds and write an insanely good ten-page paper in a single night. He was afraid of the dark and he hated green beans and he was a surprisingly good seamstress.

There was something else that those who knew Blaine best could tell you: he was a hopeless romantic, he believed in serendipity like some people believed in God, he had a big, open, loving heart, and, for as much as he trusted fate, he feared it.

Blaine's closest friends could surely list countless times when, after describing their latest meltdown or crisis or fight to Blaine, he would take their hands in his, smile at them and tell them to trust the universe, to believe in destiny; say, "You can't fight fate."

When Kurt questioned his abilities and gave in to his self-consciousness, confessing to Blaine that he was afraid that he was too ordinary to ever do something extraordinary, Blaine had almost laughed. Blaine had told Kurt how absurd he was being, how wrong he was. Kurt scoffed and waved him off, but Blaine maintained his opinion. Kurt was meant for greatness, in some way or another, Blaine was sure. With his undeniable talent and his warm heart, his great sense of style and even better sense of humor, Kurt was sure to succeed. He was fated to do something big, Blaine had told him, and so he didn't need to worry. "You can't fight fate," Blaine had said with a shrug and a smile.

When Erik didn't get the first five jobs for which he applied their sophomore year, Blaine wasn't worried. He told Erik that he was sure the perfect job was right around the corner, that Erik should take a few deep breaths and relax, that it would happen when it was meant to, because, after all, "You can't fight fate."

When Quinn came to Blaine, tears in her eyes, fresh from a phone call during which her father flat-out refused to walk her down the aisle, Blaine wrapped her in his arms and sat with her, telling her everything would work out. Quinn replied with doubts and fears and bad memories aplenty, but Blaine wasn't fazed. He smiled at her and told her, with complete and utter conviction, that she didn't need to worry, if her father was meant to be at the wedding, he would be there, and there was no use crying about it either way. "You can't fight fate," he said with a sad smile.

When Rachel confided in Blaine that she was still in love with Finn, that she knew they were soul mates and she was miserable without him, that she had screwed it all up and would never get him back, Blaine had disagreed. He had told her that, come hell or high water, if they were soul mates, then they would end up together. She asked him how he was so sure, to which he simply replied, "You can't fight fate."

When Drew first told Blaine about his high school sweetheart their freshman year of college, Blaine had listened intently and nodded. Drew had gone on and on about how worried he was about the long-distance relationship; what if she met someone? What if they grew apart? What if they couldn't make it work, even though they loved each other so much? Blaine had done his due dilligance, letting Drew say his piece, but Blaine hadn't echoed Drew's concerns about the distance or told Drew he was right to be worried. Instead, Blaine had told Drew he was sure it would all work out - although maybe not in the ways Drew would expect - because, of course, "You can't fight fate."

It had become his mantra, somehow, and he couldn't help but know it was true. Maybe it was his mother's influence; her constant reassurance that things would get better in time, and that if they weren't better, Blaine hadn't waited long enough. Or maybe it was something deeper, something with which he was simply born.

Believing in fate, trusting it and knowing it was guiding him wasn't difficult for Blaine. He had his moments, sure. He doubted and questioned and debated just as anyone would. But, he could never shake the feeling that coincidences were something more, that things didn't just _happen_, rather they were _meant_ to happen. No, for Blaine, the difficulty never came in having faith in fate. The difficulty came in understanding it.

What was he to do when his fate pointed him toward something new and different and scary? When it lead him down a path full of risk and opportunity for heartbreak? If being with Kurt was his fate, what would he have to sacrifice to achieve it? Who would he have to hurt? For the first time in his life, Blaine found that he wanted to rebel against his fate, to ignore it or pretend he didn't feel it. He couldn't be with Kurt, not if it meant hurting Erik. He couldn't be with Kurt, not if it meant hurting Sebastian.

But, with Sebastian's blessing, where did that leave Blaine? With one obstacle left, and then only his fate in front of him, Blaine knew what he had to do. And, somehow, that scared him more than anything ever had.

* * *

Kurt couldn't stop thinking. Sleep was allusive and he could barely eat and nothing felt right; not sitting and watching TV with Rachel, not calling Quinn to talk about the honeymoon, not pouring over Vogue.

It had been weeks and yet the same night kept replaying itself over and over and over in his brain; unyielding and all-consuming, unwilling to let him go. He was both haunted and mesmerized. His words and Blaine's. Blaine's anger, piercing and honest and cruel. Kurt's response, open and painful and harsh. The snow and the bench and Blaine's eyes dark with anger and hurt and then lust. That kiss.

Kurt couldn't stop thinking about that kiss.

Just when he thought he had Blaine figured out, that nothing about Blaine would ever shock or surprise him, Blaine had done the most shocking thing of all: he had yelled at Kurt and torn him apart and kissed him, all in a mater of minutes. So, it seemed, Blaine still had tricks up his sleeve. But what did it mean? What about Sebastian, Blaine's _boyfriend_? What business did Blaine have kissing Kurt when he was with Sebastian? Kurt tried to be angry, to muster up some feelings of disdain for Blaine, but he couldn't. All he could feel was swept off his feet, the way Blaine had always seemed to make him feel.

He had tried to keep it a secret: the fight and the feelings and the kiss, but he just couldn't. A few days after the wedding, when Rachel and Finn finally emerged from doing god-knows-what-Kurt-would-rather-not-think-about-it-thank-you, Kurt had practically burst with the news.

Rachel had looked at him funny, asking him if he was feeling okay and he couldn't help but say, excited and scared and confused, "Blaine kissed me."

Rachel had gasped and Finn had said, "Right on, man!" and reached his hand to high-five Kurt. Kurt had hesitantly reached his hand up to Finn's as Rachel eyed him questioningly, eyebrows raised.

"What?" he had asked, feigning lack of understanding.

"Oh, don't what me, Kurt Hummel, you know what!" Rachel had said, eyes wide and concerned. "I don't know if I'm supposed to cheer or scold you! What about that tall, sarcastic guy? Sergio? Sheldon?"

Ignoring Rachel's horrible attempts at pretending to forget Sebastian's name, Kurt had hung his head and responded, "I know. I don't know if you should cheer or scold me either." He had sighed deeply and raised his eyes to meet those of his best friend. "I just know that I love him. And I think he might still love me. Everything else is a mystery."

At this, Finn had laughed and said, "Dude, I think that's all that matters." Rachel hadn't been able to resist shooting Finn a winning smile and kissing him on the cheek proudly.

"He's right," she had said, smile on her face. "I've always said that snarky fellow was more of a supporting character, anyway. Blaine deserves a lead, a hero. He deserves you."

Kurt had agreed, although he still felt unsure. And, as he lay in bed, unable to sleep weeks later, he was still unsure. He couldn't banish thoughts of Blaine and Blaine's voice and Blaine's eyes and Blaine's lips from his thoughts. But he also couldn't help but remember that, in spite of their fight and everything that happened after, he hadn't heard from Blaine in weeks. For all Kurt knew, he was in bed with Sebastian right now, fighting with him or yelling at him or kissing him. Kurt found that everything was turning out to be too much of a mystery.

* * *

"Well, I think that's everything from in here!" Quinn said, taping up the final box and wiping imaginary sweat from her brow. Blaine set his last box on top of Quinn's and Drew followed suit, adding his box to the pile. "One room done, three to go!" Both Drew and Blaine groaned in response and Quinn laughed, "I think we've earned a break."

The three of them collapsed on the couch in the living room, exhausted and hoping that, if they ignored the task at hand, and the eventual goodbyes that went along with it, it would disappear.

Drew was moving out, and as he and Blaine and Quinn sat on the couch, they were each convinced that _they_ were the most sad, the most emotional at the prospect.

Drew couldn't remember what it felt like to not live with Blaine. The past six years had been the best of his life, and he had always come home to Blaine's smiling face, on good days and bad.

On his left sat Blaine, who, as he paged through the latest Vogue, realized that Drew had been his rock, his constant for the past six years. What would he do without him? How would he survive the chaos of everyday life without Drew to make him laugh and to force him into in-prompt-to dance parties and new adventures?

Quinn watched as Drew pretended to watch TV and Blaine tried to be interested in Vogue, fearing that she was the worst wife of all time. Who was she to split these two up? Long before she had entered their lives, they were each other's _everything_ and who was she to come between that? They sat and moped and worried until Drew came to his senses and shot off the couch, turning to face the two most important people in his life, smile spreading across his face.

"There's an apartment open next to ours!" he said, face full of excitement, waiting for Quinn and Blaine to respond with equal joy. When, instead, they both given him confused, wary looks, he elaborated, "Quinn, our new apartment? The one next door is vacant, remember? The realtor said we could choose between them." Quinn nodded but continued to frown, unsure of where Drew could possibly be going with this.

Drew sighed, exasperated and said, "Come on, guys! We're all moping around, because we all know that it would be way too weird for me and Blaine to live miles apart. But we don't have to." At this, Blaine's brow furrowed deeper and Quinn's eyes widened as she began to understand.

"You know that might be the best idea you've ever had!" She said, smiling at Drew and standing up to face Blaine with him. "And you chose to marry me, so we know you've had some good ideas." Blaine laughed at this but continued to look puzzled.

"You want a fresh start, right?" Quinn asked, eying Blaine eagerly, who nodded slowly in return. "You and Sebastian broke up-

"-may Seblaine rest in peace," Drew interjected dramatically.

"-and you want to start over. Do something new. So why not move to a new apartment?" Blaine's eyebrows shot up as he, too, began to understand.

"You mean..." he started, smiling creeping on to his face.

"Come be our neighbor!" Drew said, ecstatic smile on his face. He sat next to Blaine and placed his arm around his shoulder, pointing his arm and Blaine's gaze off into the distance. "I can see it now. We don't have to split up at all, it can still be Drew and Blaine's great New York adventure, just with separate apartments."

"And me!" Quinn said eagerly.

Drew smiled at her and corrected himself, "Of course, it'll be Drew and Blaine and _Quinn's _great New York adventure." He turned to gauge Blaine's expression and asked, "What do you think?"

Blaine hesitated, looking from Drew to Quinn and back again. "I wouldn't be some sad puppy following his best friends, invading their privacy and refusing to let go?" he asked, concern etched on his face.

"No!" they both yelled in response, shaking their heads eagerly.

At this, Blaine smiled brightly and nodded, "Let's do it." Drew jumped up and pulled Blaine with him. He reached out to Quinn and pulled the three of him into a group hug as they all laughed, matching smiles on their faces.

"I guess we'll need more boxes, then," Blaine said as they pulled apart and their smiles faded slightly. "Maybe we can save the rest of the packing for tomorrow?" he suggested and they cheered again.

Maybe it was codependent of them; to find a way for Blaine to follow Drew and Quinn across town, to avoid separation and independence. But Quinn loved Blaine nearly as much as Drew did and none of the three of them were eager to be apart, even if only by a few blocks. Blaine blamed it on his fear of being alone or abandoned or left behind. Drew blamed it on Blaine being too gosh darn lovable and impossible to live without. And Quinn blamed it on years of watching _Friends_ reruns and dreaming of living right by all of her closest friends. Whatever their reasons, Blaine went to see the apartment the next day, admiring the working fireplace and the window seat and, just as they all hoped he would, he loved it. The fact that Drew and Quinn would be across the hall didn't hurt, of course, but Blaine found that he would have loved the apartment regardless. So, without a second thought or a look back, Blaine signed a lease.

Quinn and Drew were right, it was time he started acting on the fresh start he kept saying he wanted. With plans for a new place to live, Blaine called Erik and booked a flight back to Evanston. It was time he tied off the last of his loose ends, resolved the final thing that was hanging over his head, so he could give himself a chance at a new beginning.

* * *

Drew and Blaine had packed and unpacked many a box together over the years.

As they started the daunting task of packing up all of their things to move to their new apartments, Drew couldn't help but feel nostalgic, remembering all they had been through. They had been randomly thrown together during their freshman year - who would have thought the housing department could pair them up so well, guide them to their future best friends? - and since then they had moved from room to room to apartment in Evanston, and then across the country to New York, together the whole way. They had been through co-ed showers and dining halls, leaky ceilings and rat infestations, creaking radiators and breezy windows. And to think, it was all almost over before it even began.

When Drew first moved to Evanston, to start his first year of Northwestern, he did so with his mother fighting him tooth-and-nail the whole way. She had always not so subtly hoped that Drew would follow in her footsteps and go to Stanford. Didn't he want to be a legacy? Didn't he want to stay close to home and his friends and his girlfriend? Wouldn't he miss the ocean and the warm weather and the sunlight? Wouldn't he miss his mother? While Drew had to admit that Stanford held some appeal, he had truly never wanted to be a legacy. He wanted to make his own story, to become someone new: College Drew, with a new beginning fitting of his new identity. Northwestern and the Midwest offered him just that: a fresh start not just a continuation of high school and adolescence and the first 18 years of his life. Northwestern felt exactly how he hoped college would feel - when he first set foot on the campus during a high school tour, he had known, somewhere deep in his gut, that it was the place for him - and none of his mother's protests or nagging questions would convince him otherwise.

So, when Blaine stepped into their joint room for the first time, eager to meet his new roommate - boxes piled in his arms, yelling to his mom who was following him down the hallway - and found Drew's mother packing his things into his boxes instead of unpacking them onto the shelves, he was pretty confused.

"Are you Drew?" he had asked the tall boy who stood in the corner with arms folded across his chest, fury written all over his face. When the boy didn't respond, Blaine said, "I'm Blaine. Unless I have the wrong room..."

Drew's mom had responded, talking over her son's heavy sigh, "I'm sorry dear. But Drew won't be your roommate this year. We're leaving."

The mad boy - Drew, apparently - had thrown his arms over his head at this and said, "Ignore her, Blaine." He had then stepped across the room to help Blaine set his boxes down and shook Blaine's hand with a smile. "My mother is insane. It's nice to meet you, roomie." Blaine had smiled hesitantly at this and watched as Drew went back to his side of the room and began unpacking his things. Blaine tried to resist the urge to laugh as Drew unpacked items his mom had just packed, and his mom continued to move Drew's things off of his bed and into the box.

Blaine's mom had come in then, oblivious and confused saying, "Blainey, we still have more boxes to get from the car." Blaine had smiled and blushed a bit at the nickname, turning to his mother who stood in the doorway, watching Drew's side of the room with amusement.

"Yeah, we can go, Mom. Uh, Drew?" Blaine asked, hesitantly and Drew looked up from his half-packed box. "Will you be here when we get back?"

Drew said, "Definitely," just as his mom began to respond quite differently, so Blaine chose to ignore her and nod at Drew. Blaine and his mom left and Drew turned on his mother. "You can't do this! I know it's hard for you, Mom, but really? You're being ridiculous."

His mom had huffed in response and redoubled her packing efforts, throwing Drew's things back into his boxes. "I know an omen when I see one, and you forgetting your favorite blanket is the worst kind of omen." Drew had rolled his eyes and moved to place his hands on his mom's shoulders, looking her in the eye.

"I like it here, Mom. I'll be _fine _without my favorite blanket." His mom had looked up to meet his gaze and promptly burst into tears, dropping the shirts she was holding and reaching to hug Drew. Mothers always took these things poorly, Drew thought to himself. He was, after all, the baby of the family, the last boy to leave the nest, so naturally his mom was reluctant. He stood with her, hugging her and promising her that he would visit when he could, trying to stop his own eyes from getting misty.

When Blaine and his mother returned with more boxes, they found a very different scene from the first one. Drew was putting his clothes into his half of the closet and Drew's mom was organizing Drew's books on his desk. Hours later, after both Blaine and Drew had said goodbye to their parents and wandered back to their room, ready to spend their first night as college boys, they had slipped into an easy conversation, had become fast friends.

As they sat in the dining hall that night, getting to know each other over pizza and chips, Blaine had said with a smile, "I think it's going to be a good year."

"You mean you like me?" Drew had asked, feigning surprise. "You really like me?" Blaine had laughed and shook his head at Drew's goofiness and Drew had thrown a chip at Blaine in response.

Now, six years later, Drew realized he hadn't lived without Blaine since that day. Sure, they had spent some summers and winter breaks apart, but they had always come back to one another. _How had they gotten so lucky? _he wondered. He didn't have to look far to hear horror stories of random freshman roommates, and yet somehow, against all odds, he and Blaine had been perfect for one another.

As he watched Blaine attempt to fold a fitted sheet, he smiled, feeling even more grateful that Blaine would be moving with them. If he had to learn to survive without Blaine for a roommate, he was glad that at least he could call Blaine a neighbor instead.

* * *

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?!"

A deep, booming voice came from behind Blaine as he retrieved his bags from the luggage claim, and he turned around to be wrapped in Erik's strong arms.

Erik had been thrilled and surprised to hear from Blaine. When Blaine mentioned his idea of visiting Erik and his other friends from Northwestern, Erik had nearly booked the tickets for him. A few weeks later, Blaine found himself back in his old town, watching the familiar buildings go by as Erik drove him to his apartment, talking eagerly about his new job and his new boyfriend and their new life together. Blaine listened and couldn't help but be happy just to see his old friend so happy. He could hear it in the way Erik talked about Dave and see it in his eyes as he described their plans for the future. Erik was happy, so Blaine sighed, relieved. Surely, Erik would want that for Blaine, wouldn't he? Surely, he would approve of Blaine and Kurt, if it meant that they were as happy as Erik was with Dave, right? Blaine was optimistic, but hesitantly so. The fact of the matter remained that Erik was Kurt's boyfriend first, and Blaine would never feel right if he didn't have Erik's blessing to be with Kurt.

Blaine wasn't eager to ask Erik about Kurt, nervous that it would cause things to shift, to become strange between them and ruin their week. Instead, they talked about everything besides Kurt. Blaine told Erik all about New York (pre-Kurt): about falling for Sebastian and living with Drew and meeting Quinn and how happy they all were. He glossed over the details of his break-up with Sebastian and moved on to other things: to graduate school and his new apartment and job-hunting. In turn, Erik had much to tell Blaine. They slipped easily into their old friendship, even though it had been years since they had seen each other and so much was still left unsaid.

At first, Erik's relationship with Kurt hadn't changed their friendship at all. But, over time, as Blaine's love for Kurt grew and things became more and more complicated, their friendship became complicated, too. Now, without Kurt between them, things went back to normal. Blaine didn't want to drag Kurt into the mix again, for fear that things would be forever changed.

The week flew by and Blaine visited his old friends and his old professors and his old haunts. He got his coffee from his favorite cafe and walked in his favorite Evanston parks, stopped in his favorite libraries and bought a bow-tie from his favorite shop, resisting the temptation to pick up a pin for Kurt. Blaine met Erik's new friends and loved them and he met Dave, too. As he watched Erik watch Dave over dinner, he couldn't keep the smile from his face. They were so completely in love. In that moment, Blaine knew: Erik had always been there for him, he had supported him and made him laugh and been the best friend he could imagine, so, of course he would give Blaine his blessing. Blaine felt stupid and foolish for worrying about it. So, the next day, over breakfast, Blaine decided it was time to tell Erik about Kurt.

Once Erik sat down with his cup of coffee and smiled at Blaine as they both ate their cereal, Blaine seized his chance.

"There's something I wanted to talk to you about in person..." Blaine started, pausing to take a bite of his Cap'n Crunch. Erik raised his eyebrows, curious and nodded as he chewed his Cheerios. "It's about Kurt."

Erik's eyes shifted to something sad and he looked concerned as he asked, "How is he?"

"He's great," Blaine assured. "Don't worry, Erik. He's really great." Blaine could practically feel the tension melting off of his friend as his shoulders relaxed and he returned to his cereal, frown gone from his face.

"So are you guys together, then, or what?"

Blaine choked on the cereal in his mouth, coughing with wide eyes and Erik couldn't help but laugh as he watched Blaine's confused expression.

"I've never felt good about the way I handled things in college, Blaine," Erik said as Blaine tried to recover, coughing here and there. "Kurt and I...I don't think we were fair to you." Blaine shook his head and made to disagree, but Erik held up his spoon, "No, listen. We both could have handled things better, but honestly, I think we did the best we could. And, if we had to deal with a few bumps in the road because we were stupid enough to fall for the same guy, well we kind of deserved it!" Blaine laughed, smiling at Erik, hardly believing his ears. "After I met Dave...I started to wonder."

Erik looked down at his cereal and Blaine prompted, "What did you wonder?"

"Is that how you felt about Kurt?" Blaine looked confused, so Erik explained, "When I'm with Dave, it just feels so right. Like everything else in my life - in the world! - could fall completely and totally to crap and it wouldn't matter; as long as he was there, smiling at me, standing at my side, we'd be okay. He's my soul mate, Blaine. And when I realized that, I started to wonder: did you feel that way about Kurt?" Erik searched Blaine's face for an answer with open, slightly sad eyes.

Blaine paused, his hands worrying the edge of the tablecloth. He looked up to meet Erik's eyes and nodded. Erik sighed heavily, "That's what I thought." He made a sad face at Blaine and said, "I am _so_sorry. That must have been unbearable."

"Nearly," Blaine said with a small laugh.

"Well," Erik said jovially, "you know what you have to do then." Blaine frowned, sending Erik a questioning look. "You have to fight for him. If Kurt's it for you, you can't let anything stand in your way."

"You mean it?" Blaine asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

Erik laughed and nodded his head dramatically at Blaine, "Of _course_I mean it. If anyone deserves that kind of happiness, it's you. And Kurt. I would love it if you two could be happy together."

Blaine smiled in earnest now, unable to believe that Erik was really giving his blessing, telling Blaine to be with Kurt without Blaine having to even ask. Blaine stood up, cereal long forgotten, and pulled Erik into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered.

"Nothing more than what you'd do for me." Erik said simply.

It was a strange circumstance, Erik knew. Most people would find it odd: the idea of their best friend dating their ex. But Erik wasn't most people and Blaine wasn't any old best friend and Kurt wasn't your ordinary ex. The three of them had always had - and probably always would have - a strange dynamic, an odd understanding. Despite of the complexities and strangeness of their history, Blaine and Kurt and Erik were held together by one thing: love. They cared for each other deeply; no secrets or infidelity or indiscretions could change that. So, while some might not understand Erik's eager encouragement, his adamant blessing, to Erik, it made perfect sense. Why wouldn't he want two of the best people he knew to be happy? Why would it be different if they found that happiness in each other? Wouldn't that be better, really? That way, Blaine could give Kurt the happiness Erik never could, and Kurt could give Blaine the happiness he always deserved, but never let himself have.

And, maybe, if Kurt and Blaine could be together, Erik could move past the paralyzing guilt that would overcome him at random times. Maybe he could learn to forgive himself for what he did to Kurt if he knew that he gave Kurt something wonderful, something like Blaine. Maybe, the awful thoughts that would sneak up on him - thoughts of what a horrible friend, what a terrible fiancee, what a selfish oaf he had been - would finally cease.

No, Erik didn't care if it was weird or atypical or if others didn't understand. Time had weaved his life together with Kurt's and with Blaine's and nothing could change that. He had found all the happiness he could ever imagine in Dave. Now, it was time he helped Blaine and Kurt find that happiness in each other.

* * *

Years and years before, the day he first talked to Kurt, Blaine went home and wrote their names side by side, surrounded by a big, obnoxious heart. It was silly, he knew. They had exchanged a few sentences, that was all. Blaine had talked about _shoes_. With his track record, it would probably go nowhere. He and Kurt would talk some more and he would realize his high hopes were for nothing. Kurt would turn out to be straight or mean or uninterested. They would never see each other after the semester was over. In five or six years, he wouldn't even remember Kurt's name. Probably.

But, what if things went differently? What if Kurt turned out to be as wonderful as Blaine expected? What if they hit it off? What if he would look back on this semester and remember it as the time he met his forever, his future, his soul mate?

So, he allowed himself to doodle. He wrote out "Blaine loves Kurt" and then scribbled it out, giggling and grinning from ear to ear. He was being ridiculous, but that was okay. He was allowed to be goofy and lovesick now and again.

When Drew got back to their room, he stashed his notebook away and pretended to be productive. Drew gave him a questioning look, noting Blaine's extra-wide smile.

"What's gotten in to you?" he asked, plopping down on his bed.

Blaine smiled even wider and replied, "Oh, the usual. It's been a good day." Used to Blaine's cheerfulness, Drew made an approving sound and pulled out his notebook, returning to one of his many melodramatic poems.

Blaine turned back to his desk and added, "Oh, and I think I found my soul mate. No big deal."

* * *

Blaine returned to New York, a skip in his step and the memory of Erik's blessing fresh in his mind. It had been almost two months since the wedding, he realized, almost two months since he had spoken to Kurt, since they had kissed. He vowed to never go that long without speaking to Kurt again, to never go that long without letting Kurt know how he felt and how much he meant. Maybe, to never go that long without kissing Kurt. Did he dare to hope for that?

He stopped in to see Drew and Quinn before going to his favorite coffee shop, hoping some caffiene would both calm his nerves and give him courage. Then, with his heart in his hands and a smile on his face, he made his way to Kurt's apartment.

Blaine followed a kind-looking woman into Kurt's building, thanking the universe for the perfect timing. He took the stairs two at a time, eager to reach Kurt, eager to tell him how he felt, finally. The door swung open to reveal Kurt, looking stunning as usual; but before Blaine could speak, Kurt's shook his head, eyes wide and shut the door in Blaine's face.


	6. The feelings pass, I still shake though

Author's Note: Lyrics are still by Ali Ingle – go listen to Tornado! You won't regret it! :) Blaine and Kurt are still not mine, but this universe is. This is the final segment in a six-part conclusion to the Safe With Me trilogy…so you should read Safe with Me and Your Old Heart before this or it won't make any sense! I cannot believe this is really the end; I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Read my final author's note at the end if you'd like. Oh, and there will be an epilogue in the very near future too, just a heads up :) Please review if you can, I'd love to hear from all you wonderful people!Without further ado, I dedicate this final chapter to you, for reading and being awesome.

**PART SIX**

_**My heart beats fast**_

_**My blood runs slow**_

_**Like the aftermath of a tornado**_

_**And the feelings pass, but I still shake though**_

* * *

Kurt didn't know what had come over him. At first, seeing Blaine at his doorstep was the best thing he could imagine - then as he thought about it, he remembered how upset he was, how Blaine hadn't spoken to him in months, how he had flown across the country without telling him - so the feelings of excitement and relief and happiness hadn't lasted long.

The last few weeks had wreaked havoc on Kurt's sanity. In the beginning, in the days following the wedding, Blaine was all he thought of, all he dreamt of, all he wanted. He didn't care what had to happen, who had to be hurt in the process, he just wanted Blaine's lips on his again, just wanted to be with Blaine. But, as the days had stretched into weeks and Kurt still had yet to hear from Blaine, he had started to worry. Was he okay? Was in some sort of catatonic state? Some funk or depression or hibernation? A few conversations with Quinn squashed his fears, ensuring that Blaine was fine, maybe a bit stressed, but fine. So, he was alive and communicating with some people, apparently; just not Kurt. Fantastic. Perfect. Just splendid. After that, understandably, the anger started. Kurt refused to act like some pathetic, needy guy; refused to call Blaine or stop by to visit. No, Blaine would reach out when he chose to and if he had to face one pissed off Kurt Hummel, so be it. Kurt hadn't thought he'd have to wait so long, though. Being strong and stoic and making a statement only really worked if, eventually, there was resolution or confrontation or an actual opportunity to voice said strength and irritation. When Kurt heard that Blaine had hopped on a plane across the country - from Finn of all freaking people - he couldn't believe it. He resisted the urge to scream into a pillow or throw something at a wall; he couldn't believe how frustrating Blaine was being, how stupid. Kurt could barely remember to miss him, to wish for his voice or his smile or his lips, so strong was his anger and confusion; so powerful his frustration.

And then, after almost two months, Blaine had the nerve to show up at Kurt's doorstep, eyes lit up and cheeks pink from the fresh air, clad in his best bow-tie and adorable smile and rumpled hair; practically irresistible. The universe really had a funny way of making things up to Kurt. _Here_, it seemed to say. _Here's the boy you've wanted forever, finally returning to you; you only had to deal with two months of misery and worrying and stress to earn it. Sounds fair, right? _Well, Kurt was tired of the funny ways things seemed to work out; so instead of listening and letting Blaine in, he did the exact opposite of what he was used to doing, he threw Blaine and the universe a curve ball and shut the door in Blaine's face.

He went to the kitchen to get a drink of water, to calm himself down, when Blaine knocked on the door again. Kurt rolled his eyes, muttering something about being insufferable, and went to the door, only planning to open it and shut it in Blaine's face again. But, as soon as Blaine saw Kurt's scowl, he started talking.

"I'm sorry it's been a while." Kurt had laughed a harsh laugh and scoffed, but Blaine marched on. "Things got really crazy and I didn't know how to be around you and act normally..." Blaine trailed off and looked sheepish as he said, "Can I just come in?" Unable to resist Blaine, as usual, Kurt grunted and turned around without a word. Blaine followed him eagerly and shut the door behind him, taking his coat off and hanging it in the closet. He stepped into the living room to face Kurt who stood, hands on his hips, waiting.

When Blaine stood staring at him, Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Well? You wanted to come in..."

"Right!" Blaine said, wringing his hands together. "Right, well, I just wanted to talk. Obviously you're upset about something so-"

"Upset about something?!" Kurt cut in incredulously. He laughed and shot Blaine a disbelieving look, "About something?" Blaine looked down and Kurt went on, "I'm upset because you yelled at me and kissed me and then ignored me for two months. _That's _why I'm upset."

Blaine looked up and took a step closer to Kurt, who instinctively took a step back. "I'm really sorry, Kurt. I had a lot on my mind."

"Gee, I wonder what that must have been like!" Kurt exclaimed sarcastically, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I had so many questions, Blaine. So many things I wanted to ask you, to tell you, and you vanished. Who does that?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I got that much." Kurt said harshly, frowning at Blaine. "Didn't you have things you wanted to ask me? Didn't you want to talk about it?" Kurt's voice grew gentler, more quiet as he asked, "Didn't it mean anything to you?"

Blaine's face fell and he stepped toward Kurt again, but this time Kurt didn't move away. "Of course it did. I wanted to talk to you, I just didn't know what to say. So, I played the coward and I may or may not have avoided you." Kurt met Blaine's eyes and, seeing the genuine regret and sadness there, smiled hesitantly. "I had a lot on my mind at the wedding, and after. It all got to be too much. So I took some time to think, to clear my head." Blaine smiled at Kurt and said, eyes hopeful, "And I'm here now."

"You're here." Kurt and Blaine stood, neither quite sure what to say when the front door opened and Rachel and Finn walked into the apartment, laughing loudly.

Kurt stepped back from Blaine and turned to greet the couple, and Blaine couldn't help but wonder what he would have said, what Kurt would have said, if they hadn't been interrupted.

Rachel squealed when she noticed Blaine and ran to hug him hello, acting as though he had been gone for years. Blaine and Kurt got roped into eating dinner with Rachel and Finn and, while it was a fun night, both knew they had things left to discuss. So, when Blaine put on his coat at the end of the night, Kurt followed him to the door.

"We'll talk later?" Kurt asked eagerly, searching Blaine's face.

Blaine smiled and nodded eagerly and Kurt smiled, too. "Definitely. _Soon._"

Kurt grinned in response and, before he could second guess himself, he closed the space between them and kissed Blaine on the cheek, whispering a goodbye and shutting the door in his face, gently this time.

* * *

The day after his first date with Erik, Kurt met Blaine as usual, in their coffee shop. He was eager to tell Blaine all about the evening, to let him know how well it had gone, what a perfect job he had done matching them together. He hadn't noticed the sadness in Blaine's eyes, his tight smile and pained expression, his lackluster enthusiasm and shaky voice. Or, maybe he had, but he had pushed it from his mind, sure he was imagining things.

"He's really, really great, Blaine," Kurt said, eager to praise one of Blaine's self-reported best friends.

"Yeah, he is," Blaine replied, lifting his gaze from his coffee to meet Kurt's. "You two deserve each other." Kurt had smiled a small smile at this and Blaine had returned his gaze to his coffee, finding it too painful to look into the beautiful eyes of the boy across from him.

Apparently, the date had gone just as he feared it would: perfectly. Blaine had let himself hope, had, against his duty as best friend, crossed his fingers that it would be a disaster. That the conversation just wouldn't flow, that Erik would say something offensive or Kurt would state an opinion too openly, too controversially. But, he was forced to accept exactly what he had hoped he never would; he had been the best accidental matchmaker possible. Kurt raved about Erik's sense of humor and kind heart, sounding very much like Erik had when he described Kurt.

Blaine tried his best to feign enthusiasm, to make sure that Kurt knew he supported him, he was happy for him, but he knew he was more subdued than usual. Who could blame him though?

When Kurt had to leave for class, and he asked if they would meet again in two days, as usual, Blaine hesitated.

"If you want to bring Erik instead..."

"Blaine," Kurt had interrupted, "I want to get coffee with you, like we always do." Blaine had smalled a smile at this and nodded. Kurt smiled in return and said, "We're still friends, right?"

Blaine laughed and nodded, "Definitely."

"Good," Kurt replied. "Then, nothing's changed."

"Right. Nothing's changed."

Blaine and Kurt went their separate ways, both knowing that everything, in fact, had changed. But, they didn't really understand how much things would continue to change. Neither could possibly know or anticipate or guess what the future would bring. All they knew was, against all odds, they were still friends. And as long as that remained true, they could handle anything that life had to offer, together.

* * *

"Could they be any more oblivious?" Rachel asked Quinn with a smirk as she followed her into the kitchen.

Quinn laughed in response and made to get the lasagna from the oven, "I'm not sure what's worse: that Blaine still isn't sure how Kurt feels or that Kurt still thinks Blaine's with Sebastian. Should we say something?"

"No way," Rachel shook her head. "Make it easy for them? Do their dirty work? Not a chance. It's too fun to watch them squirm." Quinn rolled her eyes at her best friend, but agreed. It _was_ fun to watch them squirm.

Rachel and Quinn returned to the dining room, lasagna and garlic bread in hand, to Drew and Finn, who were bonding over college football, and Kurt and Blaine, who were tiptoeing around each other, talking about something vague and unimportant, neither wanting to bring up the things about which they actually wanted to talk. Rachel and Quinn had planned the quasi-triple date in an effort to welcome Finn into their group - and to celebrate Blaine's return from Evanston - and had decided that dinner at Drew and Quinn's new apartment was the perfect way to do so. Blaine had only been back in the city for a few days; days filled with catching up on what he had missed while he was gone, days spent wondering about what he would say to Kurt, when he finally got the chance.

The dinner went as smoothly as they could have expected. Things were strange at first, as they always are with new groups of people, but, eventually, the conversation began to flow and they all realized how much they all had in common: their love of good music and good books, their taste in movies and TV shows and people all allowed for easy conversation. But then, Finn asked after Sebastian and Rachel choked on her wine and Drew coughed over a piece of bread, Quinn shot Blaine a look and Kurt looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. Finn, baffled that his simple question could elicit such strange reaction, looked entirely lost.

Blaine's response was equally baffling, as he cleared he throat and mumbled, "We, uh...well. He's not...he, we...we're on a break." At this, Quinn's eyes darkened and she frowned and Rachel turned a squeak into a cough, Drew held back a laugh and Finn looked even more lost.

Blaine didn't know what had inspired him to say such a strange and stupid and not entirely or even kind of true thing. He just knew that he didn't want Kurt to find out about Sebastian in front of all their friends. He wanted to tell Kurt about everything he had been through over the past few months, all the confusion and complications and love, but he wasn't ready yet. And, a part of him was petrified that Kurt wouldn't respond the way he hoped he would.

What if he didn't want to be with Blaine after all? What if he thought things were too messy, too complicated, too overdone? Whatever his reasons, Blaine decided to wait. To tell Kurt something vague and mostly untrue instead of explaining the complicated, specific truth that Sebastian had left Blaine, had told Blaine to be with Kurt.

Blaine didn't notice Kurt's face fall, didn't see the look of hurt and disappointment that crossed Kurt's face. He didn't understand how he was hurting Kurt, playing with his head. He didn't notice any of it. But Drew did.

The dinner went on as usual as the six friends swapped stories from their high school days and exchanged plans for the future and argued over who had played the best James Bond. Hours passed and, eventually, only Drew and Quinn and Blaine remained. Quinn started to clean things up and Blaine went to help her.

"Leave it," Drew said, holding up a hand. Blaine frowned at him, so Drew pulled him, not so gently, into the living room. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked harshly, as soon as they were out of Quinn's earshot. Blaine's eyebrows shot up and he merely stuttered in response. "Why are you lying to Kurt?"

"I'm not ly-"

"Oh, baloney sausage," Drew interrupted. "You are and we both know you are and it's breaking his heart. So tell me, why are you lying to Kurt?"

Blaine heaved a big sigh and sat on Drew's couch, reaching his hands to thread through his hair. "I don't know." Drew scoffed at this and gave Blaine a challenging look, so he tried again. "I'm scared," he said, voice just above a whisper.

Drew didn't know what he was expecting to hear, but it wasn't that. So, he sat down next to his best friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You're scared because you're in love. And because it's Kurt, so it's all the more important. And you two have messed it up before. I'd be more worried if you _weren't_ scared."

Blaine laughed a low laugh and asked, "Is this supposed to be a pep talk? Because if it is, you're really bad at pep talks."

Drew shoved Blaine lightly and laughed in response. "This isn't a pep talk, Blaine. This is an intervention." Blaine turned to look at Drew, frowning, so Drew explained, "You two have spent enough time apart. Enough time screwing up and hurting each other and being miserable. It's time you told him the truth," Drew said, looking at Blaine significantly, trying to convey the seriousness of what he was saying, "All of it."

"I know," Blaine sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

"If I were a betting man, " Drew said, patting Blaine on the back, "I'd bet on you two, you know."

Blaine laughed and looked up at Drew. "Thanks," he said with a small smile. "I'm going to tell him. Soon." Drew gave him a doubting look, so Blaine added, "Really, I am. I'm just waiting for the right time.

Looking doubtful, Drew smiled at Blaine and said, "Maybe it's time you stop waiting for the right time and you _create_ the right time, ever think of that?"

Blaine looked at Drew and seemed to consider what he had said. After a beat, he nodded and smiled, "How did you get to be so wise?"

"I ask myself that every day, Blainey." At that, Blaine moved out from under Drew's arm to whack him in the head with a pillow. Before Drew could retaliate, Blaine fled to the kitchen to help Quinn.

Drew watched his best friend run away laughing and hoped that he had made a difference, hoped he had helped Blaine see something important. He saw how Kurt looked at Blaine and how Blaine looked at Kurt - it was how he imagined he looked when he looked at Quinn, how she looked when she looked at him - and he would do anything short of banging their heads together if it could help them find happiness, find each other.

* * *

"I met someone. A very cute, seemingly gay, _male_ someone."

Kurt had barely gotten the words out when he heard two screams in response and he burst into laughter. He could always count on Quinn and Rachel to overreact - or, in this case, to react with as much enthusiasm and excitement as he hoped they would, as much as he was feeling, but trying to downplay - and their screams of joy were no disappointment.

"What's his name?"

"What's his major?"

"Is he short? Tall? Stocky? Thin?"

"Does he sing? _Please_ tell me he sings!"

"How'd you meet?"

"Have you asked him out?"

"When's the wedding?"

"Have you started the adoption process already then?"

"I call godmother! I CALL GODMOTHER!"

Quinn and Rachel went back and forth, peppering Kurt with questions and comments, each more ridiculous - and perfect - than the last. In high school, Kurt had been the best listener, better than any girlfriend they could have imagined; asking them all the right questions about the boys they met and talked to and worshipped from afar. Kurt had sat by and watched as his two best friends had chance after chance to be excited, to be love struck and goofy and girly, and he never did. After a misguided and embarrassing crush on Finn, Kurt had hit a horrible dry spell (possibly because all the guys at McKinley were either gross or homophobic or so clearly straight) and this phone call, this new boy, marked the first crush Kurt had had in years.

So, he couldn't have asked for or imagined better reactions from his two best girls. He told them all about Blaine; every detail of their conversations and wordless interactions, everything he knew about Blaine's background and interests and future goals. They laughed and yelled and ooh-ed just when the should, telling him all the things girlfriends are supposed to - I'm sure he's interested, too and he sounds perfect and maybe he's the one, Kurt! - and it was wonderful. Kurt felt something soaring in his stomach; something that felt an awful lot like hope, something he hadn't felt in all of his life. For the first time in his eighteen years, Kurt had found someone who fit with him, someone who complimented him and talked to him and liked him - at least as a friend - and who may or may not offer the promise of a potential relationship. It was unfathomable, it was surreal, it was a dream come true. It had only been weeks - they barely knew each other - but in that little time, Kurt had felt more optimistic and hopeful than he ever had before. So, when it was time for Quinn and Rachel to hang up and return to their studying, and they asked him their final questions, he answered with all of his heart, unafraid to be bold and honest and hopeful, because it just felt so darn good.

"But really, do you think he could be someone special? _The _someone special?" Rachel asked, hesitation clear in her voice.

Quinn had laughed and said, voice stronger and clearer than her friend's, "What she means is: do you, Kurt Hummel, think that he, Blaine Anderson, might be your soul mate? Your true love? "

Rachel had scoffed, "My question was good, too," and Kurt had laughed lovingly at his two friends.

He had taken a breath and let himself say what was in his mind and heart, "I think he might be everything, all of the above."

At this, Quinn and Rachel had screamed again, half-dramatically and half in earnest and Kurt had smiled from ear to ear. Maybe he was being too hopeful, but in that moment he didn't really care. What was life if you didn't let yourself fall every once and awhile? What was life if you didn't take chances and go crazy and be maybe a little too hopeful?

"Well," Quinn had said, recovering from her scream, "if this kid does turn out to be the love of your life, then I think you owe us - your two best friends in the entire world - a promise."

"And what's that?" Kurt asked, laughing.

"Don't be too scared or nervous to act on it, don't miss this chance. Don't let him get away. Okay?"

Kurt knew Quinn was serious, even though Rachel was giggling in the background and Quinn was trying to play it off, and he smiled at how much she cared, how much they both cared.

"I promise," he said with a fake sigh. "Okay."

* * *

2:12PM From Sebastian to Blaine: So, are you two official yet, or what?

Blaine couldn't help but laugh as he read Sebastian's text, amazed that the boy could be so supportive. Blaine feared, and in some ways knew, that it was just an act. Sebastian was trying to be Blaine's friend, to support him and root for his relationship with Kurt, because he was hurting and lonely and because he still loved Blaine. It broke Blaine's heart to think about it. He didn't know what to do. So, he resigned himself to stay friends with Sebastian; to try to support him in any way that he could, even if it meant exchanging strange, snarky texts and meeting for dinner every once and a while. Was it typical for exes to do any of that? Probably not. But, Blaine found that he didn't really care what was typical. Sebastian was hurting and, like it or not, Blaine loved Sebastian and wanted to do whatever he could to make him hurt less.

2:14PM From Blaine to Sebastian: Not yet. Keep your panties on, I'm taking my time.

Blaine looked up from his phone just as Kurt walked through the door, lovely as ever, and a smile lit up his face.

Today was the day, Blaine had decided. Since Blaine had returned from Evanston, he and Kurt had tried to find time alone, time to finish their conversation, to talk openly, but their friends always seemed to get in the way. Rachel or Quinn or Drew, or some combination of the three, seemed to never leave them alone, inviting themselves along when Kurt and Blaine made plans. Blaine found that it was harder every time he was with Kurt not to crack; not to tell him everything, not caring who witnessed it, who overheard. He was sick of the secrets and sick of the half-truths. He wanted Kurt to know what was really going on, that he and Sebastian were done, that Blaine loved Kurt; always had and always would.

As Blaine sat waiting, he suspected - and hoped - that Kurt understood the importance of the day. A couple days earlier, while they were at Drew and Quinn's for a pizza and movie night, Blaine had mentioned something about looking forward to his coffee the next day, that he already knew he would need the caffeine. Drew had interjected and proposed that Kurt and Blaine go for coffee together, just the two of them. Blaine's soda had nearly come out of his nose, but Kurt had seemed thrilled at the idea. His eyes had lit up beautifully - with something more than humor, certainly, something more like excitement and understanding - and he had smiled from ear to ear. Drew had winked at Blaine, but Blaine hoped Kurt hadn't noticed that. He _had_ seemed especially happy for the rest of the night, though, and when Blaine reminded him of their coffee date at the end of the night, Kurt had shot him a look.

"Like I'd forget," Kurt had said with a crinkly smile, eyes full of something excited and all-knowing.

Or, had Blaine been imagining it? Was he about to overwhelm Kurt completely? To take him by surprise, bombard him with unwanted information and now-irrelevant feelings? Was Blaine too late? Blaine couldn't help but be worried, sure he was jinxing himself somehow. Things never seemed to work with him and Kurt. Well, they worked perfectly in most ways, but when it came to following Blaine's plans, they were disastrous.

Maybe that was good, though. It certainly kept Blaine on his toes. He wouldn't psych himself out this time, he simply wouldn't allow it. If he was going down, he would go down swinging. Wasn't Kurt worth fighting for? Wasn't what they had - and what they could have - worth embarrassing himself or getting hurt or having his hopes crushed? Blaine knew the answer to all his questions was a resounding yes. So, come what may, he was telling Kurt. He laughed to himself, realizing that he always seemed to take his time, especially with Kurt. All good things take time, though. And Blaine didn't want to rush anything, didn't want to speak too soon for fear of messing something up. But now, he was ready. They were ready.

So, when Kurt walked over to their table and greeted Blaine with a hug, Blaine had to resist telling Kurt right there. Just saying it, I love you, I want to be with you forever, it's always been you. They started small, though, and Blaine told Kurt about his trip to visit Erik. Kurt had asked about Dave, and Blaine had responded as delicately as he could. Kurt didn't seem sad or remorseful or hurt, though, just happy that Erik was happy. Kurt seemed at peace, eager to move on from the past and simply live his life. Blaine couldn't help but admire Kurt's strength, his open heart. Blaine was about to steer the conversation toward more serious things, toward the two of them and their future and his feelings, when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

2:32PM From Sebastian to Blaine: Taking your time? You're moving at a glacial pace, like usual, Blaine. Glacial.

Blaine apologized to Kurt, taking his phone out to read Sebastian's text and couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"What's so funny?" Kurt asked, as his sipped his coffee, watching Blaine laugh at his phone.

"Oh, nothing," Blaine said, without thinking. "Just Sebastian being Sebastian."

As soon as the words left his lips, Blaine wished he could take them back, fearing how they would sound. Kurt's eyes grew sad and his face fell, as Blaine feared it would, and a light blush colored his face.

"Kurt, I-" Blaine started.

"You know, I actually have to go," Kurt interrupted, standing and putting his coat on in a flash. Before Blaine could form the words to explain himself or think to stop Kurt, to get him to stay, Kurt had uttered a quick, "See you around," and was gone.

* * *

Blaine didn't really remember a time before he knew: knew that he didn't like girls the way the other boys did, knew that there was something different about him, knew that his teachers gave him strange looks and knew that he had a secret that even _he_ didn't really understand.

He remembered the first time he told anyone, though, the first time he spoke the words out loud, when he was ten years old.

His mom had found him, pacing and crying in his room, his books scattered across his floor and his eyes wide and sad and red-rimmed. She hadn't hesitated to wrap him in her arms, to whisper sweet nothings in his ear until he stopped crying, to lead him to the bed where she held him, rubbing his back until he calmed down.

Finally, when his breathing got back to normal and his tears ceased, she asked, "Can you tell me why you're so sad, honey?"

He had begun to cry again, at the sweetness of his mother's voice and how she always cared, no questions asked.

"Something's wrong with me," he had whispered, his voice cracking. His mom had looked at him, concern and love shining in her eyes, and she had urged him on. "I'm not like the other boys."

At this, his mother had seemed to understand. She had wrapped him in her arms again and held him as he cried, whispering the same three words in his ear again and again: I love you I love you I love you.

When it seemed that he had calmed down for good, his mother had taken his hands in hers and looked at him with warm eyes. "You might feel different, my love, but there is _nothing_ wrong with you." When Blaine had tried to interrupt, his mom had held up a hand and continued, "You are perfect, inside and out; don't ever let anything or anyone make you think otherwise."

Blaine had smiled at this and reached his hand up to wipe the tears from his mother's cheek, thanking her, even though he still didn't really understand. "Somebody said..." he trailed off, looking down at his lap, not eager to say the word out loud.

"What did they say, Blainey?"

He sighed deeply and met his mother's eyes, "Am I gay?"

His mom had reached up to stroke his cheek and smile a small, teary smile at him. "I think you are." Blaine had nodded at this and continued to look conflicted. "And I think that's wonderful." Blaine had looked up in surprise, a frown on his face.

"You do?" he asked, eyebrows raised. "But I thought it was a bad thing."

"Oh, no," his mother had rushed to say. "No, Blaine. It's not a bad thing at all. You are the most special, the _sweetest_ boy in the world."

"And I'm gay," Blaine had added, his brown beginning to smooth out a bit. His mom had nodded and stroked his cheek again. "I'm gay," he repeated, smiling this time.

When she saw her son smile, Blaine's mom couldn't help but smile too. "One day," she said, looking lovingly at Blaine, "you are going to meet a boy who is just as sweet and special as you are. And you're going to fall in love with him and you are going to be so very happy together."

"I am?" Blaine asked with wide, hopeful eyes and when his mom nodded he said, "That sounds nice."

His mom had hugged him again, and this time he held her as she cried, not really understanding why she was crying, why she was sad, what had gone wrong. He didn't know, he couldn't know, the hardship that would lie ahead. His mother understood how cruel and unkind the world could be but Blaine, with his open smile and his young heart, couldn't understand, couldn't foresee the obstacles and the judgment and the hatred he would encounter. He guessed that his mom was crying happy tears, as she did sometimes, much to his confusion, that she was simply happy that Blaine was going to find love one day. Blaine knew that the idea made _him_ happy. He imagined holding hands and kissing and hugging the way his parents did, but with another boy. He imagined going on dates like he saw in the movies and singing duets like they did in Aladdin, he imagined a future of slow dancing and sleepovers and telling secrets, and he smiled.

He was different, but, apparently, that was okay. Apparently, that just meant that he was special, and one day he would meet a boy was were just as special as he was. And that sounded pretty wonderful to Blaine.

* * *

Kurt rushed out of the coffee shop, heart racing, cheeks burning and stomach tied in knots. Blaine was still with Sebastian? Seriously? After everything, after the wedding and the months that followed, Kurt had been sure that Blaine would come to the completely obvious solution that Sebastian just wasn't right for him. That _Kurt_ was right for him. Kurt had pushed aside thoughts of "we're on a break," hoping that Blaine was just taking his time, letting Sebastian down easy.

Kurt held back tears as he walked as quickly as he could back to the solace of his apartment. How had he been so stupid? How had he let himself hope so foolishly, with such reckless abandon?

He moaned and groaned to himself, chastising himself for his optimism, until he remembered: _Blaine_ kissed _him_. Blaine came to his apartment hours after landing from his trip to Chicago. Blaine wanted to talk to him; had kept bringing it up and trying to be alone together. Blaine had seemed thrilled to meet him for coffee. Kurt wasn't being ridiculous. He wasn't being naive or foolish or gullible; Kurt had just been reading the signs, picking up on Blaine's hints. Kurt wasn't being pathetic or obsessed; he wasn't carrying a torch for no reason; time and time again, Blaine had given him reasons and reasons and more reasons to believe.

There was something going on. There _had to be _something Blaine wasn't telling him. Something Kurt didn't, maybe couldn't, understand. Maybe Blaine wanted to break up with Sebastian, but he wanted to be sure about Kurt first. Maybe Blaine was scared, worried that Kurt didn't feel the same anymore. Maybe Blaine was confused or torn or conflicted. _Well_, Kurt decided, _it was time he cleared things up for Blaine. _

It was time he did what he came to New York to do: fight for the boy he loved. So, before he could rethink it, he called Blaine's cell phone from his speed dial. Blaine answered, sounding relieved and surprised and concerned, but Kurt cut him off before he could finish a sentence.

"Kurt! Thank God, I was-

"We need to talk. Really talk."

"We do! I wanted-

"I have a lot of things I need to say to you," Kurt said, hoping to convey some secret message to Blaine.

"Me too."

They both paused, not knowing where to go from there.

Blaine broke the silence, saying, "You should come over. Soon."

"Okay."

"How about right now, actually?"

Kurt couldn't help but chuckle as he agreed, "I'll be right over."

Both boys hung up their phones, excited and nervous and slightly confused. They had no way of knowing what would happen when Kurt got to Blaine's; but that was okay. When it came to things between the two of them, they had both learned to be prepared for anything; to accept whatever cards they were dealt.

Only, now, Kurt was rethinking his whole attitude. With Erik, he had accepted his cards, played them as he could. But now? With this Sebastian drama and their new lives in New York and everything they'd been through, Kurt decided it was time he demanded a re-deal; it was time he picked his own cards, chose his own fate. Or, well, forced Blaine to see he _was_ Kurt's fate.

* * *

In the months following Kurt and Erik's engagement, Blaine often found himself thinking about Kurt, wondering what could have been. Their love story was one for the ages; of that much Blaine was sure. It wasn't the sad, unrequited love he had once thought it to be. Nor was it a forbidden love that left a trail of broken hearts and friendships in its wake, as he had, at his worst, darkly wished it could be. It was the story of an honest love, a true love; a love that could have been and, maybe, _should_ have been. But, as it often does, life got in the way. Friendship and commitment and morality interfered.

When he returned home for a break from it all and his mother badgered him with questions, Kurt came up, as he often did.

"What about that boy, the one you talk about so much? Kurt, right?" his mom asked, once Blaine had dropped his suitcases in his bedroom.

"He's still with Erik, Mom. They're going to get married, actually." Blaine said, masking his unhappiness as best as he could.

"Huh," she replied. "I always thought you two would end up together." she said honestly, reaching for Blaine's hand and squeezing it softly, a slight frown appearing on her face.

Blaine felt more love for his mother in that moment than he had in recent memory, which was saying something. He squeezed her hand back and his lips turned upward slightly, forming a small, sad smile.

"I did, too."

* * *

When Kurt knocked on the door, Blaine jumped, more nervous and antsy than he realized.

_It's no big deal, _he told himself. _It's just Kurt._ He stopped to take one last look at himself in the mirror, to straighten his bowtie and fix his hair, to remind himself that this was really happening. _Oh, who are you kidding_? _This is _Kurt! _It's a huge deal! _He smiled at himself in the mirror; giddy and jumpy and excited and went to answer the door.

As soon as he opened it, Kurt smiled at him and walked in, straight past Blaine. His eyes were wide and he seemed a bit antsy too, jittery, like he knew something important, something life-changing was about to happen.

Blaine shut the door and turned to meet Kurt's frantic gaze. "I'm so glad you called me. I have some important things to tell-"

"Can I talk first?" Kurt interrupted, eyebrows raised, one hand resting, and shaking slightly, on his hip and the other worrying at the hem of his sweater. "I have something I need to say."

Blaine's brow furrowed and he nodded, curious, "Sure, but I wa-"

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, talking over Blaine again. Blaine's gaze got more confused and Kurt went on, "I've had this whole speech ready since I got to New York, all these things I wanted to tell you: and that's the first thing: I'm sorry. " Blaine frowned, but Kurt kept going, launching into the speech he'd been planning for months. "I've said I was sorry before but I can't really apologize enough...I never should have done what I did all those years ago." Blaine looked confused, and Kurt elaborated, "What I put you though? The pain I caused you and Erik and myself?" Blaine's face fell a bit as he realized what Kurt meant, his eyes falling to the floor as Kurt said, "It was stupid and selfish and I regret it every day. But, Blaine, what good are apologies and regrets? What good is wishing we could change the past?" Blaine looked up to see, with surprise, that Kurt was smiling. "I never should have let you convince me to marry Erik...but I did. It happened and we can't change it and now we're here and all I can think is that I should learn from the past. I have to change, do what I didn't do before." Kurt smiled wider now, looking Blaine in the eyes. "In college, we were both so worried." He reached a hand up to rub his forehead as he laughed. "We wanted everyone to be happy so badly that," he paused and met Blaine's eyes again as he said, "we forgot about ourselves. We should have realized how miserable we were really making everyone."

Kurt sighed and he smiled at Blaine, stepping closer to him. "You should have fought for me. For us. You told me to marry someone else!" he cried, incredulously. "Who does that?!" Blaine couldn't help but laugh, watching Kurt's eyes light up as he added, "Sure, I was dumb enough to listen, but you were dumb enough to say it in the first place." Kurt took another step closer and reached out his hand to grab Blaine's. Startled, Blaine looked down, as their fingers intertwined.

"I'm not going to let our own stupidity and foolishness get in the way again. Last time it was different. With Erik," Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand and said, "we both cared about him, loved him. But now..." Kurt stopped and waited for Blaine's eyes to meet his, "Blaine, I don't give a rat's ass about Sebastian." Blaine let out a guffaw at Kurt's candor and Kurt said, "I'm not afraid to say it! He hasn't done anything to me, I don't have anything against the guy. But he's not me." Kurt gave Blaine a pointed, _are you getting this?_, look. "He's not _me_. And you know you're supposed to be with me."

Blaine looked up to meet Kurt's eyes again, soaking in the incredibly surreal moment. "After everything we've been through, you can't possibly tell me that you think we're supposed to be apart. We keep coming back to each other. We're inevitable, Blaine." Kurt smiled widely and went on, his voice full of determination, "You and me, what we have; it's fate. And you can't fight fate." Blaine smiled at this and, with a strong voice, Kurt continued, "Whether you see it or not, we're going to end up together."

Kurt squeezed Blaine's hand again and dropped it, taking step back so he could look into Blaine's eyes properly. "So, this," he said, raising his hands, "is me learning from the past. This is me correcting our mistakes and righting our wrongs. This is me growing up and opening my eyes and fighting for you, fighting for _us_, the way we should have all along." His eyes shone and he smiled shyly, sweetly as he said, "I am so unbelievably in love with you." At this, Blaine couldn't help but grin, and reached out to take Kurt's hand again. Kurt smiled at their hands and went on, "You are the one thing in this world that matters to me, above all else. I don't want to imagine a life without you. So, please, please don't make me."

Blaine stood there, wide-eyed and grinning, his heart racing, unsure of what to say. He started, "Kurt I-" but before he could finish, Kurt's lips were on his. He froze for a moment and then began to respond, wrapping his arms around Kurt, trying to use his lips and tongue and hands to show Kurt what he couldn't seem to tell him. It was so different from their last kiss, tender and slow, soft and loving, but still desperate, still aching for more. Blaine wondered if he would ever kiss Kurt and not ache for more. He doubted it.

When the pulled apart, however reluctantly, Blaine laughed an adorable laugh and they stood facing each other, with matching blushes and smiles. Blaine smiled widely as he said, "So, is it my turn now?" Kurt smirked and nodded, so Blaine went on."Sebastian and I broke up," he said simply and Kurt's eyebrows shot up. "At the wedding, actually," he added sheepishly. "I didn't tell you because I was mad and then I was stupid and I wanted to take things slow."

Kurt smiled, but his brow was still furrowed, so Blaine elaborated. "He figured it out, too. Just like everybody does. What we have..." he trailed off, grabbing Kurt's hand again and squeezing it, "this weird connection between us: it's not something you can fight. You're it for me, Kurt. Sebastian saw it, too. He wants us to be happy." Blaine smiled and finished, "To be happy and to be together. And when I went to visit Erik, I told him everything, too." Kurt's eyes widened and Blain continued, "I wanted his blessing. He deserved to know the whole story. And now he does and he's happy for us. They both are. So, we don't have to feel bad anymore. We don't have to be apart, not ever again."

Kurt's brow smoothed as he began to understand, smile widening. Blaine made to kiss him, but he held up a hand, "Hang on." He frowned at Blaine and said, "So you let me give you that whole entire dramatic speech when, this whole time, you-"

"Invited you over to tell you it was time we got together, yeah," Blaine interrupted, fighting back a laugh. "But I couldn't interrupt you! It was such a nice speech."

Kurt scoffed and Blaine laughed harder, wrapping his arms around Kurt. Kurt rolled his eyes and hugged Blaine back, "You are unbelievable," he said, with mock disdain.

"You love it," Blaine said, grinning at Kurt, eyes shining with happy tears.

Kurt sighed heavily and smiled as he said, "You're right. I do."

Hours later, as they sat on Blaine's couch cuddling and kissing and laughing, Blaine took Kurt's hand in his and kissed it. He looked into Kurt's eyes and smiled, saying, "I never had a chance to appropriately respond to what you said before." Kurt gave him a questioning look, so he explained, "When you told me you loved me." Kurt smiled and nodded, "I think I've loved you from the day we met." Kurt rolled his eyes, and Blaine made an outraged face. "No, really! In some way or another, I did. I always have. And everyday I've known you, I've loved you more. Even when I fought against it and even when I couldn't see straight because I was so mad at you, I loved you. I meant what I said all those years ago." Blaine smiled sweetly at Kurt, who wasn't rolling his eyes anymore, but looking lovingly into Blaine's, "I will love you forever, Kurt Hummel, and the day after that, too."

Blaine kissed Kurt's hand again, and Kurt moved to replace his hand with his mouth, whispering, "I love you so much." Their lips met and they knew: for the rest of their lives, they would have each other, would love each other. It was as it always should have been: easy and simple and so very right. Blaine was Blaine and Kurt was Kurt and they were together, finally, as they were meant to be.

* * *

Author's Note: To all of you who have made it this far, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading. Thanks for sticking with me over the course of this past year! I can't believe that, a little over a year ago, I sat down and started Safe with Me and now I've written over 70,000 words and taken our boys places I never thought I would. It's been a crazy ride for me, and I hope you've enjoyed it half as much as I have. In the next couple days, I'll be posting the epilogue, which will be mostly a ball of fluff as a thank you for putting up with 70,000 words of angst! On another rather unrelated note, I am looking for a beta reader, or several, for another Klaine story I've been working on - it's currently almost 15,000 words and I have no idea how long it will end up being! If you're at all interested, let me know. Even if you hate editing and just want to be my sounding board and offer advice and support and critiques, that would be swell, too :)

TL;DR - Thanks for reading. An epilogue is in the works. I need a beta. And, you're all awesome.


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